Everything we want

Chapter Six

In the dispute over the truth, the quarrel remains the only truth - Rabindranath Thakur.

"Hello Zachary. My God. You have grown so much." The blond haired older woman said as he opened the front door. There was so much makeup on her face she looked like she had fallen in a bucket of paint.

Zach looked at the elderly woman in surprise. He recognized her even though they had no contact with her. Only through stories did he know who she was.

"Zach!" Jay called and approached the front door. The moment he recognized Bunny, he hurried.

"Go up to your room." Jay said to his son, who disappeared immediately. Zach hid behind the rungs at the top of the stairs and listened to the conversation.

"What are you doing here?" Jay asked tensely, putting his hands on his hips.

"I wanted to visit my fabulous grandchildren."

"Stop it. You've never been interested in the kids."

"It is never too late."

"Why are you here?", Jay asked.

"You know, Erin was my daughter. I'm entitled to a share.", Bunny replied.

"You are not entitled to anything.", Jay spat out.

"We'll see to that. Do the kids even know who is to blame for Erin's death? That you offered her no backup? Or that Hank Voight didn't want to pay the ransom for your son. You let Erin die Jay!"

"Are you seriously threatening me with this? With feeble-minded guesses?"

"She was good enough for you for having sex and having kids, but otherwise she was a shame... You're glad she's dead."

"You know what, Bunny. Just do not let yourself be seen here anymore." Jay hissed and slammed the door. He took a deep breath and walked to Zoey's room.

"Daddy can you read to me?" she begged, holding up her favorite book.

"Sure." Jay said, sitting down on the pillows beside her.

CPDCPDCPD

At dinner, Zach poked listlessly in the food.

"Everything alright?" Jay asked softly.

Zach just shrugged.

"You know that you can always come to me. No matter what." Jay said.

"Mom was always there for me." Zach mumbled and disappeared into his room. Jay looked at his daughter in surprise.

"I'll go talk to him." Jay mumbled and hurried after his son. Carefully he knocked on his door and opened it slowly.

"Zach?" He asked gently.

"Just leave me alone." He bellowed and turned in bed so that he was facing the wall.

"What's going on with you?" Jay asked.

"What's going on? Mom is dead." he hissed, "And you're to blame."

"Zachary. I'm certainly not to blame." Jay said and took a deep breath "Mom left her cover because an injured young woman was lying in the line of fire and-"

"You let mom die!"

"No. No way. I tried to protect mom." Jay said and sat down on the edge of the bed. He gently stroked his son's back.

"You just say that." Zach hissed.

"I loved your mom very much and I will always think of her, but life goes on, Zach. I think mom wants us to be happy again."

"I rather think that mom wanted to live." he muttered.

"Zachary. What Bunny said is not true."

"You don't know that."

"That's why we denied Bunny from the start. You cannot believe this woman. She twists and turns the story, just as she likes it."

"Just like you." Zach muttered.

"Certainly not." Jay said, "Zach. Buddy. Come on look at me."

"Just go. I want to be alone."

"Please Zach."

"Go away!" He screamed angrily as he turned around and stared deep into his dad's eyes.

"You know you can always come to me." Jay said as he left the room.

CPDCPDCPD

A few days later, Intelligence went to Molly's after a time-consuming case. They made small talk and drank a bit.

"Your boy has a very strong punch." Antonio said, "Thanks to Zach, I have a bruise on my upper arm."

"Oh, you poor boy." Burgess grinned.

"I didn't know even 8 year olds are able to defeat you." Adam laughed.

"Jay. What do you say to that?" Kevin asked, laughing.

"He's full of energy right now." Jay said absentmindedly, taking a sip of his beer. Energy was perhaps the wrong expression. Zach was full of rage, anger and hate. It was almost impossible to speak normally with the boy.

"The next time he can train with a punching bag." Antonio winked.

"At least you didn't do anything wrong." Kevin laughed.

"How are the kids? Have you guys weathered the holidays well?" Al asked curiously.

"Yes I think so. Zoey is fine. Every now and then she misses Erin, just like we all do. And Zach, he ... he's trying to deal with it."

"Children have a special way of mourning, or so I read." Kim said.

"And how do you feel?" Al asked.

"I'm good." Jay said.

"And really?"

Jay took a deep breath, "The first few weeks have been difficult, but I'm fine, really."

CPDCPDCPD

"Did you look at the clock?" Jay asked tense as he returned home. His son lay lazily on the sofa with a controller in hand playing Playstation.

"Wait ... it's half past one." Zach said after looking at the clock and continued his game.

"You do realize that you have school in the morning? Where is Hanna, anyway?" Jay said, wondering where the babysitter was.

"Yes. With her boyfriend?" Zach said, as if that were self-evident and the question completely superfluous.

"I don't believe it." Jay mumbled. His eyes went to the TV, as the screen showed a bloody shootout. "Zachary. What kind of game are you playing?"

"GTA." Zach said.

"At what age is that game allowed?"

"Relax. Other kids my age play it too."

"You're not." Jay said, turning off the TV and removing the disc from the drive.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Zach complained.

"You'll get the game back when you reach the right age." Jay said sternly.

"That is so unfair! You can't do that!"

"This game is not appropriate, Zach!"

"What's wrong about that? Jay, I'm almost 9 years old!"

"Stop calling me Jay, I'm still your dad!" Jay got more angry by the minute. For days he had to listen to this.

"Are you really sure?" Zach hissed.

"Yes. I'm damn sure!" Jay said and took a breath, "You will not play this game anymore."

"Why not? You do that in real life, too." Zach hissed.

"Not at all. We ensure the safety of Chicago. We do not drive around and kill people."

"Sure?" Zach doubted.

"You go to bed. Right now!"