i did not know where i was going.
great i am lost. just what i needed. i DO need a drink though.
i checked the map on my phone and drove to the same bar i went to yesterday. i asked for some champagne. i popped it open and drank. i glanced to my left and saw a familiar hoodie and a familiar beanie.
diego.
he was wearing the hood over his head. I couldn't see his face but it seemed as if he was depressed. his head was down.
"um are you ok?" i asked. no response. then i asked again. same silent treatment.
" diego? " i whispered. i put the hood up from his head revealing his curly hair. he looked up. his eyes were red and puffy. he looked horrible. it looked like he was miserable, or broken. "what happened to you.."
"go away," he mumbled softly.
"talk to me.. what happened?"
"my life is fucked up thats what happened." he said raising his voice.
"calm down. you're drunk again. i will take you home."
he nodded, not caring. i brought him to his car and i started driving.
"if you dont tell me what happened i cannot help you," i told him breaking the silence.
"maybe I don't want you to help."
"you have to tell someone. so tell me."
"why the hell should i tell you!"
"OK RELAX. you aren't making this any better if you keep-"
"MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!" he shouted with pain in his voice. then it was quiet.
"oh.." i mumbled. "im- im sorry.."
"yeah well sorry isnt gonna bring them back." he said. "they died in an accident last night. they were divorced. i dont even know why the hell they were in the same car. its not like your ass would understand after the stuff you said."
"diego.. i am SO sorry. i really am! look, i know its gonna take some time for you to heal... but if you really need someone you can always call me. you should spend some time off of social media, ok? do whatever you need. even if your fans don't like it. true fans would support whatever you need to do. just please promise me that you will not do anything stupid. don't hurt yourself PLEASE. also fucking some sluts won't make you feel any better about yourself."
"i dont care if i hurt myself or start taking drugs again. i am not making any promises. I need fucking time alone."
"please dont do that. do not do what i think you're gonna do.."
"like i said. no promises.."
i parked at his place.
"i'm staying with you." i said.
"what? no you're not."
"yes i am, diego. you are planning on doing something retarded. i can feel it."
"no you're not! its not your damn decision!"
"i wanna help you. so i am doing this."
"NO! I DONT NEED YOUR HELP!" he screamed.
"no diego! you dont WANT my help. but you sure as hell need it."
i walked him out of the car. he tried pushing me away, he couldn't. thats how much pain he felt. he was painful to the point that he was weak. i brought him inside his house and lied him down on his bed.
"breathe." i whispered. "i am going to get you something to eat. wait here."
i went down to the kitchen and got some snacks and some water. i went back upstairs but i did not see diego on his bed.
"diego!" i called. i saw that the bathroom door was closed and the light was on. i knocked the door.
"diego?" i said.
"there's nothing you can do now." he said.
"what are you talking about?"
"its over now."
"what?! stop acting stupid."
"dont even bother looking for the xanax," he mumbled. "its in here.."
"...NO.... diego open up!"
" why should i? you know this is not the only reason why i'm doing this. i am doing this because my life is already fucked up as it is. A girl i know broke my heart, my parents are dead, my family doesn't care about me, my best homie betrayed me, and it goes on. and that stuff is only what happened this year. might as well end all of it."
"no! you're not doing this! there's fans that love you. i have been your fan since the beginning. i have been supporting you for such a while and i have enjoyed it. there are still people who care. it may not seem like it but trust me, there are. the second that you do this, you will feel instant regret."
"i don't care anymore whats the point! like you said i have countless girls in my life. it doesn't matter."
"yes it does! your life matters-"
i heard him pop open the xanax.
"YOU BETTER NOT.." i said.
"oh yeah? and who is gonna stop me?"
"is this the way you want to end? OVERDOSE?!"
"its not the way i WANT to end. its the way i choose to end."
"STOP IT. DONT."
"bye."
"no!" i shouted. i pushed against the door with all of my strength. then i got a head start. i busted the door open. i saw him on the floor. i crouched down.
"please no." i cried.
thank you guys for reading. hope you enjoyed xoxo 💋
