Entry 9

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17/2/2018, 03:47 pm

I woke up breathing. I'm eternally grateful for today. 

I should be.

But I can't get out of bed. It's difficult.

I just want to keep on lying there with my favorite blanket over me and my mind lost in my own happy dreams, but I can't.

Today could be my last day so I have to get up, dress up, show up and live. 

Mike got to know what's wrong with me yesterday. He was so angry, so heartbroken. 

He cried while he held onto me and kept on saying, "Get better, don't leave me, Haley. Don't leave me."

He slept in my arms yesterday and I stayed up all night.

I was afraid if I slept I'd be gone and I'd never come back and he would be asleep in his dead sister's arms.  I'm scared of blinking. Eventually I zoned off, that's what happens when you're tired.

I don't want to die. 

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