Entry 17

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5/3/2018, 12:09 am

I haven't been able to write for I am slipping through life's fingers.

Hanging on thin threads and swaying slowly, there's music, I believe. 

Music of my heart beats and someone is singing reports on my condition. 

I won't make it. 

Everyone is loosing hope. 

I am loosing hope. 

Maybe that should be my end, cancer.

I wish my life would've ended in a better way, y'know?

I don't believe in love, but I've always wished I'd fall in love with a decent guy and he'd love me like I hold the universe in my eyes and it would be a mutual thing. We'd love each other crazily like no one else matters and nothing else should.

I always wished I could pursue my dream; the one no one knows about. I've wanted to be a singer, model and an actress. I wanted to influence people to be their best and I wanted to be a great friend to everyone; a shoulder they could all lean on. 

But that's not meant for me.

None of my dreams are meant for me. 

So I'm minimizing my dreams. 

The highest dream I think I've reached is to be able to survive one more day. 


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