28/2/2018, 07:38 pm
In school, I've always felt like a sore thumb sticking out, never really fitting into any group but somehow could pass as one of them. I've never really felt like I belong there.
But that didn't stop me from having friends.
I've had friends who crack jokes and talk about memes all day long, but I've never felt like I can trust them enough with anything serious that's going on with me.
Thus, I've been feeling lonely.
And all of that is because of my trusting issues.
My best friend cares about me. Only when she's free.
I feel like she uses me most of the time, so that she won't appear lonely, y'know?
One time I sent to a friend of mine, Hannah White, that I feel like shit.
She sent me, "I hope whatever it is that's making you feel like shit, goes away."
Nothing went away.
If people care about you, they would notice when you're angry or sad. They would care enough to try and comfort you.
My best friend claims that she's my best friend, yet she doesn't care enough to ask what's wrong with me. It's like she's forcing herself to care.
It really sucks when I'm the one who cares more than the other person, because it always feels like I'm giving parts of me knowing they would break but I end up giving it anyways.
I just want to be the way I was 10 years ago. Young, beautiful and carefree.
Not a dying lonely 15 years old.
(P.S.S.: I'm eternally grateful for some people and of course for today. But my heart is a fucking bitch and it can't handle the truth that nothing is the same.)
YOU ARE READING
One Last Miracle
Short StoryDying. That's how she is. Dying. -- Miracles happen and one of them is the desire to write her thoughts in a worn out copybook. So she does and she hopes when she's gone, anyone would find it. That's the only way to ensure she won't be forgotten.
