I'm Insane

Happiness.

Why is happiness something so hard to come by?

The sun seems so trusting and beautiful, but it is untrustworthy and it blinds you.

Have you ever noticed how the sun is so simular to people you thought were your friends? People who claimed they would fight for you until their death? But they were just lying?

But I do not blame them for lying to me. I lie to myself constantly. "I'm okay. This is a completely real smile. I'm perfectly OKAY. OKAY. OKAY." 

Okay. It's such a funny word, to be honest. It can make people unbearably happy, unbearably depressed, or to some people, it is only a word. Those people who think it is only a word.. They are too lucky. Nothing to worry about. No fears.

Where does happiness come from? It certainly is not something you can choose to have, though some people come by it naturally. Some people are just born to smile. Why, though? Is it genetic? Does every soul have a different nature?

Are souls.. Are there actually souls? I'm so curious about what happens after death, considering how terribly I want to die. 

Life is a fabrication, is it not? 

Happiness and sadness, are they fabrications? Something our mind makes up to make ourselves feel better, like there really is something to life?

Nothing we do really matters. In a couple hundred years, we will all be forgotten. Even Picasso, George Washington, Alexander Hamilton etc., willl not be remembered. So why even try? There truly is no point.

No point to life.

No point in trying.

No point in anything.

No

Point

.