An American In London: S4

6. Why Me?

(Joseph POV)

I towel dry my wet hair as I come out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around my waist. My blond hair waves in gentle curls down my face as I walk into my bedroom. 

"Peter?" 

I call out and walk into my small room to find my sweetheart curled up in a ball in the middle of my bed, fast asleep. I can feel the small uncontrollable smile curl on my lips.

 I go into my wardrobe and tug on a clean black t-shirt and pajama pants as I grab a blanket from the chair, gently covering his body before curling up next to him and falling asleep.

When the morning comes I wake up to find myself alone. 

I groan as I sit up, rubbing light green eyes and stretch my arms out with a loud yawn that sounded like a mouse. 

"That's the cutest thing I've ever seen," I blink a few times to see Peter leaning against the doorway. 

"Mmm how long have you been up for?" I ask as I tiredly rub my eyes. 

"Only a few minutes, some guy came to the door to deliver a package," he says holding a small box. 

"Where's it from?" I groan as I stretch and sit on the edge of the bed. 

"The education department?" At these word I leap up, tearing the box from his hands.

 "No way," I gasp as I run to the kitchen, grabbing a pair of scissors. They must have delivered it late. But the doubt starts to fill my head. It could also be a letter telling me how stupid I am and to try again next time. 

"Joseph? What is it?" Peter asks as he rushes up next to me and I carefully cut the tape before opening the box to find my precious diploma. 

"What?!" I cry out as I grip it in my hands. 

"I'm not stupid after all!" I shout in excitement as I hold it to my chest and let out a long sigh of relief with happy tears streaming down my face. 

"Umm? You okay there? I haven't seen you this excited since I proposed." Peter chuckles and I had honestly forgotten he was even in the room. Embarrassed I rest the small rectangular case on the table. 

"I-It's..." 

I couldn't get it out because it was so embarrassing. I can feel my face start to redden.

 "Baby let me see," he asks and I pull it close again, not letting him touch it.

 "I know it might not be much to you, but I dropped out of high school when I was diagnosed with terminal cancer. So I went back to school this year...and got my high school diploma." 

The embarrassment kills the moment for me as I squeeze my eyes shut.

 "What? Joseph that's amazing! I'm so proud of you!" Peter says and I feel his arms wrapped around me from behind. 

"Huh?" 

For a second, I thought he would call me an idiot or something and I slowly lower the diploma so he can see.

 "We'll have to frame it and put it up in the our new house," He says and I snort. 

"What? This thing next to your five diplomas. This is nothing," I sigh as I toss the diploma down on the table.

 "Joseph, what do you mean? This isn't nothing. This is incredible. We'll have to celebrate!"He moves away from me and holds the diploma in his hands like it was a precious infant.

 "What's up with you honey? you should be proud of yourself," He asks as he carefully cradles my small accomplishment. 

"Because compared to you, I'm just some stupid fool...I can't talk to you about your amazing cancer breakthroughs without you dumbing it down, I can't understand the science, or the mathematical equations you're constantly writing in that journal. I don't understand your complicated surgeries your constantly getting international praise over. And when people ask me about it at galas and events, I feel like such a fucking idiot because I have no idea about half the things you do, And I want to know. I really want to know how everything manages to function in that absolutely beautiful brain of yours but I'm too stupid to ever know!" 

I confess and he steps forward. Wiping the tears from my eyes with his sleeve as I have a mental break down. 

"Oh Jojo, I didn't know you felt this way." He sighs as he pulls me into his arms and holds me close. 

"I don't even know what you see in some stupid mechanic like me," I mutter and he presses his lips to the top of my head, before pulling away so I can meet his gaze, but I find myself staring at the floor instead.

 "Joseph, you are a lot of things but stupid isn't one of them," He says as he gently caressed my cheek. Tilting my head up so I could see the sincere look in his dark gray eyes. 

"When I look at you, I see the love of my life who is more merciful than any average human being, you always manage to deal with my smartass when its late at night and I tiredly force you to stitch up my wounds, even if your stitches are a little crooked, I can tell it's done with love," he says and I chuckle a little reaching up and pressing my hand to his. 

"Your stronger than me mentally and emotionally. Even though you have problems carrying a gallon of milk, you're strong enough to hold me up when I'm feeling dispirited. And you're strong enough to admit when you're weak." He says and I draw closer to him. Our chest just touching. 

"Joseph, you are everything I'm missing wrapped in a colorful Mexican/Korean package. I love you now, And I'll love you forever. So stop listening to those idiots outside when I'm the only one you should be paying attention to. Because everything I say is honest and true. I may be a genius and I can't do my job without you for inspiration. I need you to me to be my biggest supporter. I talk to scientist and doctors all day, But at the end of the day the only person I really want to talk to is you. Can you imagine how boring life would be if we just talked about research and formulas?" I giggle a little at the thought. 

"Jojo, in my head you are the first thing I think about from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep. I think about your beautiful face, all of our conversations, your text messages, how your feeling, if your tired at the shop and I need to steal you away. Everything revolves around you." He confesses and I never knew that before. 

"Joesph you're my everything, so don't think any less of yourself when you are my equal and I am lost without you,"