A butterflies journey {Octavia Blake} BOOK 1

Chapter 24 GoingInsane

     I wake up cuddled to Lincoln. He's already awake, he's staring down at me playing with my hair. "Good morning Beautiful." He says smiling. I smile and climb on top of him. I'm holding onto him like a monkey. "I'm gonna miss you." I say looking up at him. "I know. I'm going to miss you too. It will go by fast, you'll see." He says and kisses my forehead. I hear Hailey crying and I get up. "I'll be right back." I say to lincoln and walk to the nursery. "Hey baby. Good morning." I pick her up and bring her to our room. I lay her down beside lincoln and lay beside them. Lincoln's on his side and propped up on his elbow. He lifts Hailey's small hand and gently draws circles on her palm. "I'm gonna miss you little girl." He says smiling at her. I smile at them.

     After I help Lincoln pack we get ready to drive to the airport. I put Hailey in her car seat and Lincoln puts his bags in the trunk. I get in the passenger side and look out the window while Lincoln drives. "I'll skype you, I'll text you every day. You can call me anytime, I'll answer." He says and places one hand on my leg. "Mhm, Yeah." I say still staring out the window. At the airport, he goes through security and gets his bags checked. "I have to go through customs now." He says and we stop in front of the door. I smile and shake my head. He leans down to the car seat and says goodbye to Hailey. "Daddy loves you baby girl. I'll be back before you know it. Be good for Mommy." He whispers to her and kisses her forehead. He comes back up to me. "3 weeks." I say with tears in my eyes. "I'll be back soon." He says cupping my cheeks. "Ya.." I say and a tear rolls down my cheek. He wipes it away and leans his head against mine. I stare into his eyes. "Don't cry O.  I love you...so much." He tells me starring into my eyes. I hold his hands against my face. I kiss him. "I love you." I say pulling back and he pulls me into a kiss again. "Final call for flight 172" the lady on the intercom says. He pulls back and grabs his bags. "Ill be back soon." He says and walks through customs. Hailey starts crying and I rock her car seat. "Aww it's ok Hailey, he will be back." I say trying to calm her down.

I walk back to the car carrying the car seat and put Hailey in the back. She starts to calm down when the car moves. My phone rings and the car connects it to bluetooth.
B: Hey O where are you?
O: I'm on my way home, I just dropped Lincoln off at the airport.
B: Ok, do you mind if we all come over for a bit.
O: Ehm, no that's fine we can order pizza.
B: Ok great. Ill see you when you get home.
I pull into the drive way and take Hailey out of the car. I walk inside and close the door. "Hey O!" I hear Raven yell from inside. "Hello." I say taking Hailey out of the car seat. I carry her into the kitchen. Bellamy's on the phone calling the pizza place.

After we all eat, I walk over and feed the dog. Bellamy's holding Hailey in one arm while she sleeps, he has been holding her all night. "I think Bellamy has a new best friend. He hasn't put Hailey down all my night." Clarke giggles. "Well I think Hailey loves her uncle, she's never that calm with me." I say watching them. He smiles and continues to rock her gently while she sleeps. I walk to the kitchen and do the dishes. Raven walks in and helps me. "Hey O.. you ok." She asks. "Ya. Just tired." I reply smiling. "He'll be back soon." She says nudging me. "Yeah.. I know." I say turning off the water. "Bellamy's in love with Hailey. I've never seen him with a baby before, he's so different!" Raven says to me. "Ya... he's gonna be a great dad." I tell her smiling.

    We walk back into the living room and Hailey's awake. Bellamy's holding her up and making funny faces. She's giggling and smiling. "Well it's getting late, we should go Clarke." Bellamy says. "Ya. I'm gonna go too." Raven says hugging me. "Here ya go." Bellamy gently places Hailey in my arms and hugs me. "Goodnight O." He says and walks out with Clarke. As soon as everyone leaves she starts crying. "Aww no please peanut don't cry. It's ok." I say trying to calm her. I walk upstairs to the nursery. I try everything to make her stop crying. I'm rocking her and bouncing her and shushing her. I'm playing music and turning the lights off and trying to feed her. "Come on Hail.. I know you want daddy, I miss him too. Just go to bed." I start talking to her. "What do you want. Do you need me to change you, are you hungry? Are you not tired?" I stand there in the dark trying to stay calm. "Shh shhh shhh. Shh shh shh." I try everything. I lay her down in the crib and sit on the floor. I'm listening to her scream and cry. I don't know what to do! I've been trying to calm her down for and hour and she sounds like someone's killing her. Her squeaky screams and painful cry. It's hurting me not knowing what to do. "Please Hailey... Please." I whisper watching her from the floor. I lean against the crib and listen to her cry all night.

      I wake up suddenly from the sunlight. I'm sitting against the door, I spent the whole night here. I must have only fell asleep a few hours ago because the last time I checked the time it was 4:43am. Hailey cried all night long. I look over and see her peacefully sleeping. I'm surprised the neighbours didn't call the police on me because they thought I was hurting her. I walk over to the bathroom and look in the mirror. I look horrible. My hairs a mess, I'm still in my clothes from yesterday, I have huge bags under my eyes from not sleeping and my whole body hurts from sitting on the floor all night.

     I walk back to Hailey's room and see her laying there with her eyes open. She's eating her hands and staring at me. "Well look who's up. Did you have a good sleep? Well that's good." I say and lift her up. I bring her downstairs and sit on the couch. I try to feed her but she won't drink from me. "Come on Hail.. you haven't been fed since yesterday. Your not hungry?" I look at her. I sigh and stand up. I walk to the kitchen and place her in the bassinet. I walk over to the cupboard and get the formula.  I mix some up and pour it into a little bottle. I lift her up and start to let her drink. At first she doesn't open but eventually she starts drinking. "Why do you only do thinks for daddy?" I ask. I smile and kiss her forehead. "I know, because he's cool and funny and the best. But I try ya know. And your just staring at me.... I'm going insane... I'm talking to a 1 month old baby." I say and shake my head continuing to feed her.