Voices in My Head

Chapter 19: Shattered

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On the other side of the giant glass mirror separating us was Raiden slumped against an invisible wall.

I sat across from him. I was used to seeing Raiden being intimidating and angry. Not like this. Not being so....vulnerable.

"Stop looking at me like that. I don't need your pity."

I stared at him, unsure of what to say. I spent most of my life blaming him for every wrong thing that happened. Only to find out it was all a lie. Everything was just a lie.

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It was hard to find someone.

Especially someone who I never met before and only had the vaguest information on. Although that rose locket was throwing me off. It looked so familiar, but I had no idea why. It was bothering me. 

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The fox was cunning, but familiar. Lonely, but comforting.

It was a mask in more ways than one.

Glancing at him leaning against the wall, I wonder if he intended that, if he chose a fox for that reason.

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"Raiden..."

"Don't even say another word. I told you I don't need your pity, loser."

I clenched my fists. What was up with his attitude? Acting like a lone wolf, that no one's ever good enough for him.

He rolled his eyes, laying down on the floor, hands behind his head.

"You're wrong. It's not that." He looked straight ahead, not even glancing at me.

"W-Wh---"

"You're too expressive and predictable."

My voice caught in my throat. After seeing his memories, seeing what really happened, I have no idea of how to approach him.

What to do you say to the guy who kept you from killing yourself, from bleeding to death from all those attempts?

What do you say to the guy who chose to be blamed for every bad thing that happened in your life so what little self-worth you had didn't crumble to dust?

What do you say to that self-sacrifice now that you realize you've been a piece of crap all along?

"Stop thinking so hard," Raiden growled. "Just fight like we normally do."

How?

I hug my legs closer to my chest. I knew the truth but couldn't bring myself to terms with them. That would mean peeling back the years of pain, suffering, and deceit. I was too selfish to not want to get hurt again.

Even still, I also know things won't just get back to the way things were like before.

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The bakery was not that busy, a few customers here and there. It was easy to spot Mom from the moment I stepped through the door.

I made my way to where she was seated, a cup full of cold coffee sat in her hands, a distant look on her face as she stared out the window, watching passing cars and people.

Did she notice me?

When I sat across from her, she turned her attention to me. I could clearly see the wrinkles on her forehead and under her eyes. A couple of gray hairs. Tired eyes and weary smile. Did she age a few years since we met?