My Drug Is You

Chapter 17

We both started walking to his car making sure that we took the long way around so that nobody would see us. I was apprehensive about this and I wasn't sure if it would make things worse. I was still furious with him no matter what he was going to tell me.

I looked around and the car park was empty so I got in his car as he got in the drivers side. We set off driving and I had no idea where he was taking me. Maybe he was going back to his place, that would make packing my things go a lot quicker.

The car was filled with an awkward silence as neither of us knew what to say to each other. Brian kept looking at me as if he was going to say something but never did. I looked out of the window for most of the duration. It seemed to calm me down and by doing this I would avoid his sad eyes.

He stopped the car and I looked where we were. We were outside of a park and I was confused. Why did he bring me here? He shut off the engine and looked at me, waiting for me to say something.

"What are we doing here?" I asked.

"Well this was the first place I had a genuine conversation with you, outside of college and I wanted to show you a special place," he replied.

I laughed, "Okay but after we need to go back to yours."

He nodded his head and said, "I understand that you still want to get your things and avoid me at all costs but just give me a chance to prove to you that I'm not lying when I say I've fallen for you."

I didn't reply. It was too hard for me to do. I unbuckled the seat belt and got out of the car. He mirrored my actions. I walked over to him and waited for him to start walking seen as I didn't know where that was. It still hurt to look at him or even be around him knowing what he did to me but I did owe him some time to let him explain. After everything though I still found myself feeling no different. I was still falling for him and there was nothing I could do.

We walked for about ten minutes until Brian stopped and turned to me, "It's just down here," he said as he pointed to some bushes. I looked at him puzzled as there was nothing past the bushes. We were at a dead end. "It's through here."

"It's just a bush. There is nothing beyond it," I told him.

"That's were you are wrong. When you climb through here there is a little seculded patch of grass," he said as he pulled the bush to the side to reveal he was right. I had never even noticed this place after coming to this park for years.

We both climbed through and sat down on the grass. It was amazing. It was so peaceful and quiet. We sat in a moment of silence until he decided to talk.

"I used to come here all the time when I was a teenager. Me and my friends called it the 'secret spot' and it was just a place where we could get drunk without anyone catching us. I now come here to think with nobody really knowing about it," he said. "You're the first person I've ever shown it to. None of my exs have been here,"

"Really?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, it's a special place and I've made so many great memories here. I didn't want to taint it in anyway and it never felt right to bring anyone here. This place is everything to me," he said and to be honest I was shocked.

"Why did you bring me then? I'm nobody special," I replied

"That's were you are wrong. You are special to me. From the moment I saw you I knew. You did something to me that day without even knowing it. I know you don't believe me after what I did to you but I'm telling the truth. You had me the moment I laid my eyes on you," he told me and I was taken aback by it.

I honestly didn't know what to say. There was so many questions floating around in my head, I didn't know where to start. There was no doubt in my mind that he was sorry, I could tell by his eyes but I didn't understand so I asked, "Why sleep with her then? If you supposedly care about me this much, why hurt me in the way you did?"

"I was drunk and I know that's not an excuse. I wanted to forget all the pain so I went to te nearest bar. I know I shouldn't have, I never have been good with alcohol and it is part of a horrible past. I went back to the old me, the guy everybody hates and she cornered me. I should have done more to get her off of me but I'm an idiot who screws everything up so I let her and it makes me sick to think about it," he confessed.

I was curious. What did he mean by his old self? I still couldn't forgive him even if he was under the influence of alcohol, it isn't an excuse. "You're right being drunk doesn't make it acceptable and I don't know much about your past. You have always made sure you never answer those questions but whatever happen has been done and you need to leave it there," I said.

"I don't like talking about my past because that isn't he person who I am now. Back then I was a horrible person. I drank way to much, did whatever drugs I could find and used women for sex. I'm not proud of it but that night that guy returned and I wish I could take it all back," he said as his voice cracked. He looked own avoiding my eyes. I knew he was on the vere of tears.

I moved closer to him and wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders and laid my head on his shoulder. We both sat there for a bit enjoying each others company. We both needed a moment to think and I knew I couldn't stop myself from falling in love with him. The past three weeks have been a roller coaster ride and I didn't want to get off just yet.

I guess I needed him in a way but I was scared to forgive him. I was scared to ever trust him again. What would happen if his old self came out again? I wanted to know more about it but I was afraid to ask. I couldn't tell how much it hurt him to even think about it.

"I understand if you still want to move out. I didnt want to tell you about my past. I didn't think you could fall in love with an ex junkie," he said.

"You turned your life around. You became a teacher. You're not what you used to be and about the falling in love bit, I thinks it's a bit late for that," I laughed. "You're still not fully forgiven but I respect your honesty."

"You've fallen for me?" he asked.

"Yeah I guess I have. Now are we ever going to go home," I joked hoping he would pick up on my choice of words.

"Home? So does this mean you're still going to live with me?" he questioned.

"Yeah it does but separate bedrooms for now," I replied.

He laughed and it made my heart warm hearing it. He grabbed my sides and pushed me to the ground so I was laying flat on my back. I let out a scream and then a giggle as he tickled my sides. He hovered over me and looked me straight in the eyes. His mesmerising chocolate brown eyes captured mine and they held so much love and warmth.

"How did I get so lucky?" he pondered as he moved a stand of my hair out of my face.

I laughed and before I could say anything back his lips captured mine. I was shocked at first but I soon melted into the kiss. Our lips moved in sync and I loved the way it sent surges of pleasure rushing through my body. His tongue traced my bottom lip and I opened my mouth immediately wanting to taste him once again. His taste was so intoxicating and I loved every minute of it.

We broke apart and he looked at me with a huge grin on his face. "God, I've missed not been able to kiss you," he said.

"It's only been a day and you're not fully forgiven. You have some serious making up to do," I laughed even though I was deadly serious.

"I'll make it up to you, don't worry about that. I'm just so thankful you've given me another chance. Who knows what would have happened if you hadn't, I don't think I could bare it," he said.

I brought my lips up to his and gave them a quick peck. "You better start making it up to me now then," I replied. We both started laughing and just held each other for a bit longer as we both knew it wasn't going to last forever.

--------------------------------------

Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think. Sorry for the rubbish chapter but things will get more interesting again. I promise.