Meaningless words He will never hear

Sorry you found out

Scars normally so far and few in between
Scars so normal for me
so close and everywhere in between

My thighs ,my hips , my lips and my wrists
Bruises from kicks and fists shade in those parts that are bare
I really know that I should care and mom and dad should too

My best best friend saw those scars
She looked in my eyes and said "you don't cut yourself do you?" followed by a laugh and that was the end of that conversation

My dad noticed the bandaid on my wrists and proceeded to tell me "you better not be one of those people that cut themselves."

People tell you constantly to speak to someone about it
But how can you speak about it when some of the most important people in your life mock others for what you secretly do?
Would you?
Would you tell them
Only to be sent off to therapy and mocked by the family the friends
Oh look another fuck up in the family at least she's not on drugs

they don't understand that my blade is just as addicting as the cigarettes my father loves to use to forget about his pain

They don't understand that my blade is a getaway just like the drugs help my cousin escape from this shitty world if only for a little while

They don't understand that my blade washes away my emotions like a can of bud light for my grandfather

They don't understand that my many scars were only supposed to be one or two that I didn't want them to find out because I can deal with it myself

I am strong

They don't understand that just because I may hurt myself doesn't mean I want to kill myself, it doesn't mean that they can look at me with pity and wonder where they went wrong.

Because I am strong

They don't understand that I never meant for it to get this far because my scars are no longer few and far in-between but they litter my skin now and I'm not sorry

I'm really not sorry

I'm only sorry you found out