Wishes May Come True...

Home.

When did parents decide that gaslighting their children was okay?

These lies are so outlandish that the only person who would believe them are

the people you scared into believing you.

The people you still control.

The people you don't deserve.

The people like me.

You can go months without me,

turn around,

make amends,

and then accuse me of doing things you should know I'd never do.

I am your kid, after all.

What hurts me most,

is the fact that after I got so far away from you

that your satellite's signals were no longer reaching me,

I found a girl

By your standards of love, it felt no different.

She abused me like you did.

you and her shared a skill of making me feel guilty

when no vases were broken.

Now that she is gone,

I miss her like I miss you.

It's the moment just before I fall asleep

that the intrusive thoughts of love lost

Love I pushed away,

was just that-

Love.

When logically, analytically, 

I knew it was abuse.

But some how 

you managed to make

tears, and wishes, and runaway schemes,

identity crises, panic attacks, and words that bleed

all seem like the home

I never deserved.