The Choreographer

32: Tangent

"Mmrrph." I groan.

"What?" Harry asks, trying to wake me up.

I sigh heavily and pull the covers over my head.

He leaves the room and I hear his shower start. I fell asleep around two. I have no idea what time it is now.

I roll over and kick off the covers. I rub my eyes. The clock says 6:34 in the p.m.

The shower shuts off and I stare at the ceiling. I wish Harry didn't wake me up. The bathroom door opens up and I shriek at a indecent Harry. I cover my eyes instinctively and fall off the bed, this time I don't smash my head.

Harry is laughing. I hear him opening drawers and I hope he's getting dressed. I am not ready to deal with this. "Decent." He says.

I don't look up. I am mortified. Why? I don't know. Harry is my boyfriend of over a year, right? This is supposed to be normal. Commonplace. Nope. Nope, nope, nope. My cheeks are flushed red.

"Isabel." Harry says.

"Isabel is unavailable at the moment." I say, trying to suppress my blush before I face Harry.

I take a breath and stand up. He is half dressed. The bottom half is dressed. "Put a shirt on!" I scream throwing a pillow at him and half running out of the room. I lock myself in the hall bathroom. Could I be any more of a dork?

"Isabel?" A knock is at the door. Who could it be? Maybe someone fully clothed?

"Yes?" I reply.

"Open up." He says.

"No." I say.

"Please?" He asks.

"What's the magic word?" I ask.

"Jello." He says.

"No." I try to steady my breath.

"Orange creme." He says and I clench my fists. That was the most random password.

I open the door angry. "What?"

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"No." I say. I can even look at Harry without blushing.

Harry is smiling. He leans against the door jam. "Why are you doing that?!" I push him away so I can shut the door again.

"Bel..." He whines.

I sigh. I am so ridiculous. This is not a how mature adult would handle this situation. I need an adulter adult. A more qualified adult. I should hire a professional adult.

"Bellllllllllll" He leans against the door.

"Go away!" I tell him.

I don't know if he leaves but I turn on the shower and get in. I need to relax. For some reason the most relaxing thing I can think of to do is to sing Super Bass by Nicki Minaj.

So that's exactly what I do. Like my life depends on it. When I forget the rest of the words I pretend to be Alicia Keys. I have an Empire State of Mind. "In New York!" I sing as loudly as I can.

Eventually the song melts into Ke$ha. "Don't stop! Make it pop, DJ blow my sneakers up tonight..." I wash my hair.

I turn the water off as I move on to White Houses by Vanessa Carlton. "Maybe you were all faster than me, we gave each other up so easily..." I dry my hair with a towel.

"In white houses..." I murmur and I wrap the towel around myself and open the door. I don't see Harry so I move toward the bedroom. To my stuff.

I begin to feel like a country song. Thomas Rhett's Get Me Some of That.

"You're shaking that money maker, like a heart breaker, like your college major was twisting and tearing up Friday nights..." I open the drawer singing under my breath "...love the way you wearing those jeans so tight..."

I grab my clothes and retreat to the bathroom. I have no idea where Harry is.

I slide on terry cloth shorts and a t shirt. I bound down the stairs. "Bet your kiss is a soul saver...my favorite flavor...I want it now and later..." I continue on with my song as I dance around the kitchen. I open the refrigerator and pull out a handful of grapes.

"Hi." Harry says from behind me. I jump.

I Hold On by Dierks Bentley is the next song that comes to my mind. "You see this here flat top guitar has had my back in a million bars! Singing every country song! So I, hold, on." I sing at Harry. I don't want to talk to him right now. Right now I want to sing to Dierks.

Harry just watches me dance around the kitchen.

Eventually I run out of words, and grapes and I'm left with either running away or talking to Harry.

My face flushes hot.

"Isabel?" Harry tries to get my attention.

"What?" I ask.

"You took that very poorly." He speculates.

"You walked into the room in the nude! I had no warning, just bam! All of you, right there!" My hands are flailing around.

"I'm sorry." He says.

"Liar." I counter.

"I thought you would still be sleeping, and that, maybe, you could handle it." He suggests.

"I can't even handle seeing myself naked most if the time." I point out. It's true, but for other reasons. I become critical, I hate the way I look. So I've stopped looking.

"I was wondering if that was your problem..." He says.

"No, my problem is that I don't want to go there now." I say. I'm such a prude but it's true. I could not emotionally handle being with Harry like that.

"A whole entire year." He points out.

"So?" I ask. "That's completely invalid and you know it."

Harry looks at me. "Explain it to me."

I think he really doesn't understand.

"You know how sine, over cosine is a tangent?" I ask using math to illustrate.

"Uh, kind of?" He says.

"You are sine and I am cosine." I say. Harry nods. "I do not want to make a tangent."

"Was that a sexual innuendo?" He asks.

"Yes." I say.

Harry frowns. "What if I want a tangent?"

"You can find another cosine." I challenge. We just look at each other.

Harry sighs, annoyed with me. He leaves the room. I leave the house. I go home. I don't tell Harry. I think this might be rude, but so is trying to pressure me, even if he wasn't really pressuring, I still felt it.

I wonder if he'll find a new cosine. I bet her name will be Jessica.