The Choreographer

40: Split POV - Fan Girl?

I'm cyber stalking Harry, and I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with me and how to make myself stop.

I feel like a fan girl.

I am a fan girl.

Except not.

I sigh and walk out the door. I am not going to sit inside on my day off. I haven't been going anywhere except when I have to go to training for ballet, which is everyday, but still

I have been without Harry for three weeks.

Sarah has been with him for two weeks.

I am an idiot and get dressed up. Not only do I waste my life of curling my hair, I go to a club.

***

"Hey," A very cute, very tall dark haired guy says to me, sliding into the stool next to mine.

"Hi." I say, miserable. I had one drink and already felt sick.

"You look kind of out of place." He observes.

"Thanks for making me feel like I fit in." I tell him.

He smiles. "I'm Vince."

"I'm Isabel." I say.

"You dated Harry Styles, didn't you?" He asks.

"No." I lie.

"You definitely did." He decides.

"So what if I did?" I ask.

"Nothing. I would just have to assume that he's crazy for dumping you." Vince tries to be smooth.

"Or that I'm crazy so he dumped me."

Vince pauses and studies my face. He gets up and walks away shortly after our exchange.

I never realized how few of guys would put up with my crap. I never realized how abnormal Harry was.

Maybe Darcy was right.

We did kind of just, fit together, like a puzzle piece. I am such an idiot.

I could call Harry, but he has Sarah.

I could text him, but that's too informal.

I could just show up at his house, but that's just strange. That's also very me. I think that I need to do that.

***

HARRY'S POV

"You look upset," I say to Sarah about three weeks after Isabel and I split.

"I just kind of think that you should change your relationship status." Sarah looks at me.

"What?" I ask.

"To 'In a relationship with Sarah Greyson.'" She looks at me.

Sarah is pretty. She has dark hair and hazel eyes and is significantly shorter than Isabel. She's also very nice, asks about my feelings about my day and if I need to talk about Isabel and our breakup that she's here for me.

It's nice, it's just, weird.

"Why?" I ask her, not really wanting to change anything.

"Because we are exclusive, aren't we?" Sarah asks, making a pouty face at me.

Sarah know's that she's pretty. She knows how to make certain faces in order to get her way. Bat her lashes and stick out her bottom lip.

"I mean, maybe." I say. I expect her to flip out and tell me that if I can't commit then she'll leave.

Instead she just sighs.

I miss Isabel. I miss the way she would sigh when I would ask her stupid questions, I missed how she would blush when I would say anything even remotely sensual to her. I just miss her. I miss how she wasn't an experianced kisser, because when I kiss Sarah, I can tell that she's been around the block before. I like that Isabel hasn't. I like that it's just me.

"Are you thinking about her?" Sarah says. She won't call Isabel, Isabel, she'll call her, her.

I am annoyed. Is this how Isabel feels when I would try to make her talk about stuff she didn't want to?

"Why should it matter?" I ask Sarah.

"Because if we want to move forward in our relationship you have to move past your previous relationship." She tells me.

She is the exact opposite of Isabel. Isabel would be ignoring me on the couch, looking perfect, so I would have to go over and lay in her lap, or kiss her cheek or take her book out of her hands so she would pay attention to me. Sarah, however will not leave me alone. Not for ten seconds.

"What if I think moving forward is pointless?" I ask her.

"I would say that you think that because you are stuck in your old relationship." She says calmly.

"I miss her!" I yell. Sarah looks startled.

I walk over to the other side of the room and run my hand over my face. "All the time. She dyed her hair blonde again. Which is huge, metaphorically. She ate chicken with Daisy last night. She's still dancing, and her teacher is still that Wyatt guy that I don't like." I can't stop myself. "This isn't fair to you, Sarah."

"You're just getting over an old realtionship, why is it not fair to me?" Sarah looks at me like nothing I just said matters. Isabel would have understood what I was saying and be crying by now.

I stare at her blankly for a minute. "You do't understand what I'm saying."

"Of course I do, you're dealing with a loss." Sarah says.

I think I should feel bad, but instead I'm annoyed, she's not taking me seriously.

"I'm not dealing with it!" I tell her. "I will not accept it. Don't you get that? I will not accept that I can't have Isabel. I will not accept that anyone but me will have Isabel."

Sarah looks confused. "But you two are over."

"I don't want to be." I say. "I don't want to accept or 'deal' with it. I want to terminate it and be with Isabel."

"So what was I to you then?" Sarah asks, she doesn't even look upset.

"You were my way of seeing if Isabel was right. If I could find someone better." I say.

"The verdict?" She asks.

"I cannot." I say.

We both turn as the front door unlocks, it open about an inch and I hear a very familiar voice.

"No, I should knock. Just walking in is creepy..." Then, the classic Isabel sigh. "I hope they aren't having sex right now."

The door shuts and locks and I try not to smile, I also can't believe that I forgot to get my huse key back from her.

I hear the doorbell ring.

Sarah sprints to the door to answer it before I can.