Aurelia Esme
4 days later
My heart is broken.... I don't know how to go on without him, and I'm angry because I think it's possible he could have still been here. He was my entire world.
I looked myself in the mirror emotionless, I flattened my black dress and straighten my black coat out, then let my curly hair lose. The soft knocks of Wyatt and Milo's mom erupted my volcano of sad thoughts.
"Yes?" I called quietly.
"The funeral is about to start sweetheart," her voice was always delicate. But now was extra weary. Everything she did was with hesitation. Worry of hurting me with a mistake of a phrase. I could compare everything to Milo though. Everything had a tie to him. This is it as I looked at the mirror. The day I have been counting down but regretting.
"Okay, coming."
The collection of 'I'm sorry for your loss' and 'he's in a better place' made me only more empty. And lost in emotion. Because that is how there pities were. With empty feeling behind them other than pity the girl he left behind.
Milo's casket, I had no idea if it would be open. Or not, but the thing is I don't know if I could handle knowing he is in that lifeless box. He always deserved more than sleeping in a box.
We signalled into the church. The place where the most happiest and most dreadful things can happen. I walked with Wyatt in his wheelchair, Milo's mom and Finn. Every move was tired attempt to pretend I was okay for everyone else's sake. My bones were solid and cold though. Clashing in war against every movement, while my heart was clashing with logic.
We filled into the seats. I was silent. I glanced at many people, most didn't notice. That made me relieved. Less empty gestures.
The weather today was exactly how I felt, rainy and dark.
That's when I saw that the casket was open. My eyes froze. The priest gathered up to the front then started with a prayer after the prayer he does a little speech about how great Milo was. About how he watched him grow up into a fine young man and how he was sweet, kind and amazing.
I quickly grabbed Finn's hand as I begin to tense up, he gives me a supportive smile.
Milo's Aunts, uncles speak as well as a couple of other family members some of them I've seen before at Milo's family dinners. Some of his friends go up to talk about how he was a great person, how he brought school to life with his smile and charm.
Everyone that goes up sheds tears as they give a speech.
I'm pulled away from my thoughts, when the priest calls my name and pronounces my as 'Milos girlfriend' . My head shots up and I gulp sharply. Finn let's go of my hand, and my heart feels like it's about to burst out of my chest as I make my way up. Having everyone staring at me scares me. But I know Milo would have wanted me to do this.
I stood. Every glance on me. Every deathning stare.
I didn't want to see him in the casket but now, I was walking towards it. I walked up. He was so peaceful. In a nice suit. Hands tucked in at his sides. His hair slicked back.
