intellectual » k.n.j // #LostStarsAwards2k18 #COWA2018

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"Hyung, we're going out." Jimin called out from Namjoon's door at his studio. Hearing what the younger said even with headphones, because he's not listening to anything at all, he took it off, and went to the door. "Where are you guys going?"

"Church. It may seem odd but Taehyung just asked if we can go to church and since it's our free day, we all agreed to go. Also, it's been a long time since I attended mass because we're getting busy for our next comeback. Are you coming, though?"

Sudden guilt and somewhat cringe coursed through the older's chest, some curiousity flooded his mind, but he was blocking it.

Why?

He's an atheist for years. He'd come to a conclusion that Religion is a delusion for weak-minded people, though it was contradictory in a sense because some geniuses like Blaise Pascal and Albert Einstein believed in one. Even Einstein died trying to prove that there is a God. It wasn't your kind of literal weak-minded, he figured that it was being weak in emotional terms. He knows himself he's not one of those.

Talk about depressed, anyway.

Ever since he'd come to that conclusion, everything they say, every prayer is nothing but a broken dream and the God they worship? That God is imaginary to him.

He gulped, he might be smart and all but in these kind of situations, awkward situations, especially with a guy like Park Jimin, it's hard to deal with it.

And no, they didn't know because Namjoon forgot to tell them. He doesn't really remember if he did say it, but if he didn't, he feels dead insecure because, oh my. Theists are really just... different. There are others that respect atheists' opinions and there's others that when hear the word 'atheist', would mean they're Satanists, though that totally meant completely different.

Namjoon cringed at that thought. A-the-ist. There's the goddamn prefix in the word, and it doesn't mean 'devil' for all he cares.

It just feels weird to say 'I don't believe there is a God' even if almost half of the people in South Korea are atheists.

"Hyung," Jimin snapped him out of his thought, and yes, it's a literal snap for he snapped his fingers in front of Namjoon, which startled him.

"Uh, no. I'm not coming."

"Why?"

That's what he's talking about. For some reason, Jimin would try to get a reason from you, to test someone maybe. Jimin may be cute and clingy, but this is one side of him that he doesn't show in front of a camera, being a bit over authorative. Either way, this really can get Namjoon heavily intimidated and scared.

He's really scary when he gets mad.

The older took a deep breath, scratched the back of his head and smiled. "I would really want to but I... I'm working on a song-"

"Namjoon-hyung, your dimples."

That caught Namjoon off guard. "What about it?"

"If what Taehyung said is true, your dimples dig deeper when you lie." Jimin stared at the older's eyes, then scooted for a bit to see the computer in the studio, "Hyung, you're aren't even listening to something."

What the hell? How did he knew?

"Oh, please. You wouldn't even respond even with just me calling out loud when you're working on something unless I walked in. Also, hyung, your editor's interface for editing is empty." Jimin just sighed, and Namjoon was as scared as fuck that he mentally slapped himself for staring at the blank file for half an hour, not knowing what to do. "Hyung, is there something wrong?"

"N-no... No. I'm fine, I just needed... I just want my 'me time', Jimin. Can I get that?"

Jimin frowned at his hyung's answer, but nodded. "Take care, hyung. Don't overwork if you're going to make another one again."

The younger flashed a small smile at the older and the younger left, his figure slowly decreasing in size until it disappeared at the end of the hall where he took a turn. Namjoon closed the door, and rested his forehead against it for a bit, pondering.

He raised his head and looked back at his studio's setup, his figurines aligned in a shelf and the overall ambiance is good and all, but his attention was on his computer, and the blank file on his editor.

Empty, meaningless thoughts.