ASP One Shots/Songfics

Christmas Conundrums

(3rd Person POV)

Gene reluctantly plodded into the shopping mall behind Finny, who was excitedly prancing around the building, wondering where to go first.

"Why'd you make me come?" Gene asked. "All there is here is a bunch of screaming kids screaming 'I wanna see Santa!' even though Santa isn't real." Finny glanced around, making sure no small child heard his boyfriend.

"You're here so you and I can Christmas shop," Finny reminded him. "Also, don't let anyone hear you say that. You can rant about Santa Clause when we get home."

"But Finny, you know I'm right."

"And Gene, all I want you to do today is preserve the magic of Santa Clause and Christmas, okay?"

"Fine," Gene muttered. Finny grinned.

"Thank you. Now, let us be on our way!" Finny grabbed Gene's hand and they wandered further into the mall. Finny brought out a shopping list with a list of different stores and items. "Okay, so first, we need to go to Hot Topic for Aria and Brinker, then we need to get Leper new skis for that touring thing he does, Chet wants a telescope, and then Barnes and Noble for Loki, and Evan. Did I miss anything?"

"Nope." Finny nodded in acknowledgment. "Hey, do you think we should split up to do this? We'd get it done so much faster."

"Sure. I'll go to Hot Topic and Barnes and Noble," Finny decided.

"Alright. See you in an hour at most."

"Perfect." Finny and Gene split, Finny to Hot Topic, and Gene to the nearest sporting goods store. The latter never made it to where he was going, because on his way, there were so many kids talking about Santa that he snapped and yelled at them that Santa wasn't real. Then they started crying. And parents were pretty pissed. And Gene was taken by the mall police. And Finny was blissfully unaware of all of it.

(Time Skip)

Finny impatiently tapped his foot while he stood by the mall entrance waiting for Gene. He'd been waiting for half an hour, and had no idea what was keeping his boyfriend. Finny's phone started ringing, so he took it out of his pocket and saw that it was an unknown number. He debated whether or not to answer, and decided against it. He hit decline and went back to waiting. His phone rang again, and it was the same number. He hit decline again. The same thing happened. Finny was mildly annoyed, so this time he answered.

"Hello?" he said, holding back any annoyance from his voice.

"Is this Phineas Pell?" the guy on the other end asked. Finny was nervous, but didn't let it show.

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

"This is mall police. Your boyfriend was brought in about an hour ago." Finny's expression went from nervous to just done.

"May I ask why?"

"He was causing a disturbance in the peace by yelling that Santa wasn't real in front of a group of kids." Finny pulled the phone away from his ear.

"Why am I not surprised?" he muttered before bringing the phone back. "Where can I find him?"

"West wing of the mall, then turn left. On the right side of the hallway, there's a white door. Go through that door, and there should be an office. Talk to the person at the desk, and they'll help you bail him out."

"Thank you. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas." The line went dead, and Finny made his way toward the west part of the mall.

"Gene, why?" he muttered to himself, exasperated. He turned right down a hallway and found the door the guy on the phone had mentioned. He opened it and found a middle-aged lady in a police outfit behind the desk.

"Welcome to mall jail. What brings you?" the lady asked, going through some papers.

"I need to bail my boyfriend out of here," Finny answered tiredly.

"What's his name?"

"Gene Forrester." She took out a list and pointed at a name with her pen.

"The guy who was yelling at kids about Santa?"

"I wish I could say no, but I can't. And trust me when I say mall jail is going to be the least of his problems once we're done here." The lady chuckled.

"Oh, I believe that." He handed her some money and she went over to a door, opened it, and disappeared through the doorway. Finny overheard her talking to someone.

"Mr. Forrester, your boyfriend is here to bail you out," she said to Gene.

"Great," Gene stated, standing up.

"I wouldn't celebrate yet. He said, and I quote, 'mall jail will be the least of his problems once we're done here'." Gene looked mildly terrified now as the lady unlocked the door. She lead Gene to the front room, where an irritated Finny waited for him. Finny crossed his arms and glared.

"What did I ask you to do?" he asked, annoyed.

"Preserve the magic of Christmas and Santa Claus," Gene answered.

"And what did you NOT do?"

"...Preserve the magic of Christmas and Santa Claus." Finny sighed and shook his head.

"What am I going to do with you?" Gene looked Finny in the eye.

"I'm sorry, Fin. Forgive me, please?" Finny eyes softened.

"You make it hard for me to stay mad at you." Gene chuckled.

"I guess that's a good thing, for me."

"While you two are adorable, may I kindly ask you to leave and continue on with your day?" the lady asked from her desk. Finny nodded.

"Yes. Thank you for helping me out. Merry Christmas!" Finny replied, dragging Gene with him. He handed him the bags. "You get to carry these."

"Fair enough," Gene remarked, taking the bags from Finny.

"I'm never leaving you unsupervised again."

"Again, fair enough." The two of them finished Christmas shopping and took all their stuff home.

"By the way, you owe me for bailing you out of mall jail."

"I'll take you somewhere nice."

"And you have to wear pink." Gene rolled his eyes.

"Fine."

Word Count: 1011

A/N- I don't care that Christmas was two months ago. I still wanna post this.