Safaa

Chapter Fifty

Safaa continued watching the rain after her Mama left her, She had been trying to stop her mind from remembering him but she could not, she felt the taste of salt on her lips and suddenly her tears began falling in an unbroken stream, clutching unto her chest, she buried her face under her pillow and cried her heart out. She was silently screaming, losing her sanity and hope but she did not care, she was not immune to pain as she thought and leaving him would not be as easy as she thought too. Fearing she might not be herself without him again, she cried more, not holding back the avalanche of tears overflowing from her tired eyes.

She had been like that until she had footsteps approaching her room.

" And the woman who decided to be brave is here crying herself to sleep" Inna, her grandma teased her with a sad smile on her lips.

"Inna" Safaa called her grandma, ignoring the fact that she was supposed to hide her pain from them.

" Yes Safaa? You want my advice now? When you didn't seek for it when you decided to tell your husband you want a divorce"

Safaa wanted to set all her nostalgic feelings apart when her grandma came into her room but she could not, not after her grandma was also blaming her for everything now.

" Inna you also don't get it do you?" Safaa sobbed.

"Then make me understand" Inna's voice softened.

" We are not meant to be, that's all"

" You silly girl, You don't decide whether you are meant to be with him or not, that's not upto you"

" I don't know Inna, I want to be away,  I want to be able to know what I want not what you guys believe I am supposed to do"

" And leaving your matrimonial home is what you want?"

" Not that am even in it" Safaa weakly rolled her eyes.

" Nonsense " Inna smacked her lightly.

" Ouch that hurts" Safaa pouted.

" On a serious note you know Ahmad is never letting you go right? "

" I don't know Inna, please let's talk about something different" Safaa pleaded.

" Well no matter what we talk about it would lead us to your marriage, get up and wear your Hijab, your Uncle is here"

" My Uncle? Kawu Sunusi? " Safaa shuddered.

"Yes who else? Come on let's go"

Safaa wore her Hijab shakily, the palpitation of her aching heart increasing with each step she took towards her Baba's living room. What could make her Uncle visit when he was still not speaking to her father? She kept hoping he was not in the house to patch things up because she was really not sure if she still wanted to be Ahmad's wife, not with Hajiya Turai wishing she could skin her alive whenever she set eyes on her.

"Assalamu Alaikum" She salaamed with her head downcast, the eyes she felt on her made her more uncomfortable and she clutched unto Inna's hand, silently praying the old woman would drag her inside the living room because she felt rooted to the marbled floor.

" Let's go in Safaa" Inna urged her.

" But Inna you told me my Uncle summoned me but didn't say his entire family are here" Safaa whispered raising her head a bit to look at the occupants of the living room.

Her eyes locked with her Husband's disheveled ones and for some seconds she wished all that was happening was a dream, she wished Hajiya Turai was not a vicious woman, she kept wishing a lot of things inwardly and Inna's voice brought an end to it.