dark minds [completed]

i wish

im sitting in the park by the lake

you know the place we used to sit

in the summer and laugh to our

hearts content. i loved your smile,

it made me happy to see you feel

alive, even under the moonlight.

but tonight im missing ones

company and i feel the usual

feeling of sadness creep up on

me, tighten me in its hold and choke

me till i am no more.

you always used to tell me that

you wanted a little boy. but as much

as i knew you'd make a great mother,

i just wasnt ready to be a father but i

think turning you down to 'live my life'

was one of the most stupidest things

ive ever done [which says a lot, because

im a stupid boy]

i wish now that we did. even if we were

young, fuck what everyone else thinks.

because sometimes i come out here and

sit by the lake we spent most our time by

and i think of all the things we talked about

but mostly i think of how i could of been a

father, how you'd be a mother, even up in

heaven and if i hadn't been so selfish i'd still

have a mini you while you partied with God

and fucked shit up in the clouds.

its stupid to wish things, i know. but i dont

know, it was worth a try. i miss you, verity.

i'll have a baby boy one day, just for you.

i promise.