An Abundance Of Short Stories & A Handful Of Poems

Awake

I never really knew what it felt like to be alive. Yes, of course I know that it involves breathing, eating, sleeping, walking, talking, thinking, and feeling. But if I'm being honest... that's just simply going through the motions. All my life I've simply been going through the motions.

I've never truly lived in the moment, I've never truly felt the sun on my face or breathed in the fresh cool air of a winter's morning. I haven't lived in such a long time. I've forgotten what it feels like to actually feel those raw emotions of loss and heartbreak, happiness and sadness, anger and jealousy, and everything in between.

For the first time in a long time I'm alive. I'm finally waking up from my slumber, at least, that's what it feels like. It feels as if I have been asleep for the past few years. I am no longer closed off and am desperately trying not to appear standoffish, I now remember what it feels like. Everything feels so... new, so... unknown. I'm scared, yet excited at the same time. I know what it feels like to fall in love and have it be stronger than what I've had in the past.

I. Am. Awake. It's all so new, but familiar at the same time. To be awake and alive have somehow become the same thing. I never expected to fall in love after the first time, but I have somehow fallen in love for the third time in my life.

He came out of nowhere, I wasn't expecting to stumble upon him in the way that I have. I didn't expect him to be a real life Prince Charming, a true Gentleman, the kind of boy who bring me paper towels instead of tissues, the kind of boy who makes me smile when tears are falling down my face. To be alive and in love... to be awake and in love are sort of the same thing right?

I don't know if it was his stormy blue eyes or his intoxicating smile that awoke me from my slumber, but I know he is somewhat to blame for these feelings that burn inside. The fluttering heart, the butterflies, the fire in my veins, not to mention I am hardly without a smile. I find myself thinking about him every second of every day. he is constantly at the back of my mind.

When I see him everything slows down, we talk for minutes and it feels like seconds, then we come to realize that an hour has passed ad we need to get on with our lives. But we are reluctant to leave such wonderful company, sometimes I wonder if every moment has led me to this, all the pain and heartbreak has somehow prepared me for tis unimaginable happiness that I feel.

This place that I'm in and the people that I have met were always meant for me, who knew that he was right? Who knew that the scared little girl from my past wouldn't be scared forever? Who knew that one day she would be happier than she's ever been?

To be alive, in love, and awake all at the same time is unbelievably beautiful.

no more sleeping, now is the time to be awake.