BitterSweet Lies (Niall Horan Fanfic)

Chapter 49

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Kia's Point of View

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Jet leg sucked. It totally messed up not only my sleeping schedule but Aoife Belle's too. Having a very cranky year old was not easy, especially since today was our big interview with Good Morning America. Yep today was the day I was going to let the world know I had a daughter. I was completely shitting myself. Todd had let me know last night the a guys had landed safely, which I was glad to hear. I spent 45 minutes contemplating on whether I should have gone to see Niall or not. I decided on no, only because he had been acting weird and distant lately, but I figured he was just in a mood. As much as I tried, I couldn't ignore the fact that I really did want to see and spend time with him. Ever since Aoife belles birthday I've been trying to keep my growing feelings for Niall under hold but I'm useless at it. Every time I tell myself just to take it one step at a time and to just to keep it all under wraps I can't! I end up falling more in love with him.

Ugh I sounds like a love sick girl from a novel, which is exactly what I don't want. I've been through so much that I hate the fact that I've let myself fall for Niall twice. Not because I don't love him, but because I don't want to turn into a whiny dependant partner who says they can't live without the other person. To me, that's not what love is. It shouldn't be a dependency, it should be a choice. The truth is, that I can live without Niall. I lived without him before I knew him, and I have been living without him for almost two years now. I love him not because I feel like I have too, I do it because I want and choose too. My life without him just isn't the same, it's all his quirks and faults that make me love him even more...which brings me back to my point of I can live without Niall, I choose not too. I choose too want him in my life more than just my co-worker or Aoife's dad. I'll do everything in my power to make sure that never changes.

I jumped as I heard a loud knock at the door. Pulling me out of my long train of thought, I had managed to get lost in. I quickly checked out Aoife Belle, who was already up and ready for the day, before I went for the door. The closer I got the more mumbling I could hear. My mind was still racing at a million miles an hour. As soon as I open this door I knew I would be agreeing to whatever management had planned for today. My hands were disgustingly sweaty as I placed my hot palm on the cool metal knob of the door. I took a deep breath, in attempts to calm myself, before twisting the cool metal that I had wrapped within my hand.

"Would you just-"

"Shhh" Todd immediately shushed Lou as she stood behind him, looking really annoyed."Morning Kia." Todd quickly changed his attention towards me.

"Morning." I said shakily.

"Kia you look sick, are you okay?" He obliviously asked.

"Did you seriously just ask that?" Lou saucily shot back. Todd was clearly unaware of my panic over this interview today. Lou let out a small genuine laugh as she shook her head in disapproval. "You are such a nob sometimes Todd."

I was grateful that Lou was here today. She was really the only other person who understood at least a bit of what I was feeling. She had taken baby Lux with her on tour since before she was born. Lou had dealt with all the anxiety and insecurities, that I am dealing with now. Lou just wasn't a hairstylist, she was apart of the groups, she was family. It was honestly so comforting to have her and her support around.

"Lets just get this over with..." I begged.

"Alright come on, I'll get started on your hair." Lou replied as she walked into the hotel suit, followed by Todd. I watched them file in before I closed the door. I turned around realizing I had forgot to ask one very important question.