I/Tulpa: the Seven Year Girl

chapter 5

"If the good Lord had intended us to walk, he wouldn't have invented roller-skates."

"I told them, don't let you arrive in LA, but no, they had to send you into the heart of Sodom and Gomorrah, didn't they," Paul said.

Jon was still sulking in the backseat. "I don't know how he did it. Convinced the whole world he is just a comedian."

"Jon?! He's a comedian," Paul said.

"Yeah?! So am I," Jon said.

"You are so not funny, Jon," Paul said.

"Yeah, that's not what the Friborg Adam Sandler just said," Jon said.

"Jon, they were laughing at you, not with you, there's a difference," Paul said. "You're the schmuck in this series, the one that makes everyone else look good. Like Major Burns in MASH."

"Really?" Jon asked.

"Next time, before you sign on to a play a role, try reading the script," Paul said.

"I can't be the straight man," Jon argued.

"You're Major Burns, Adam is Hawkeye Peirce," Paul said.

"That's so not my book!" Jon said.

"They're changing it, Jon. You can't do your book on television," Paul said. "Trust me, you can't even do your book in a seedy, greasy, back door movie house in a blind alley. Been there, done that, still get arrested."

"My stuff isn't seedy!" Jon said.

"You fucked Loxy within 24 hours of first meeting her without taking her on a date," Paul said. "Not complaining. Just saying, most people don't do that."

"There's a contextual explanation that comes later," Jon said.

"Yeah, I know," Paul said.

"You attended Safe Haven?" Jon asked.

"No, I went to the other school," Paul said.

"What other school?" Jon asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," Paul said. "Just trust me. I graduated."

Paul pulled the car through a gate, between airplane hangars, and delivered Jon to a silver Cessna AT-17 Bobcat. The man who was buffing the side put away the buffer and turned to greet Paul as he stepped out of the car. Jon sunk into the seat, frowning. The door opened.

"You can get out without me opening the door," Paul said.

"I am getting out here?" Jon asked.

"Duh," Paul said. "I got to get you out of LA."

"But I just signed a contract," Jon said.

"Out," Paul insisted.

Jon got out and the pilot extended his hand. Jon hesitated. "Aren't you Kurt..."

"Shh, we don't want everyone knowing I am magician," Kurt said.

Jon looked to Paul. Paul winked.

"Come on, kid, let's get you home," Kurt said, climbing up into the airplane. Jon followed. "Want a parachute?"

"Are you a real pilot, or do you just play one in the movies?" Jon asked.