I/Tulpa: the Seven Year Girl

chapter 19

"The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last."

Jon found himself in Adams officer. Movie posters adorned the wall, and there were models of spaceships, and a few toys, like the physics one with the balls that click against each other, and a bird that dipped its head into water because of the inner red fluid rising with heat. There were also photos of Adam with female stars, and a famous poster of Farrah Faucet, but most interesting was the big board with boxes magnetically attached. Episode one was called 'Dark Passage In." The other episodes were ambiguous, as if that was still in debate. One of the episodes was terrifically long, something like 'The completely compelling, never before heard of, untrue, story of the Bangles.'

Adam pushed away from his desk, rolling his chair sideways, motioning for Jon to come sit in the chair in front of him, next to the table with bottled water and a dish of candy. Jon approached and sat down. He sat with the most astute posture, as if he were Spock, only, he wasn't trying to be Spock, only polite, and perhaps a little anxious that he was in trouble.

"Are you really a magician?" Adam asked.

Jon considered the question. "I wonder if the problems of the world is the failure to recognize we're all magicians."

"Yeah yeah yeah," Adam said, rushing past the philosophy of it all. "But are you?"

Jon shrugged.

"Do you really have a tulpa?" Adam asked.

"Honestly, Adam. We all have tulpas and inner influences and the only reason people believe otherwise is that we have been trained early on not to reconcile the inner world with the outer world," Jon said. "Both the inner worlds and the outer worlds influence us all the time, the inner world much more so than the outer world."

"You're being evasive and I want a direct answer. Is there more to this life than this world?" Adam said.

Jon was silent for a long moment. He leaned forward, his hands coming together, embodying the energy of Carl Rogers, or perhaps a saint.

"You're wanting to know if there is more to this world," Jon reflected. "You're feeling stuck."

"I'm finding it harder and harder to get contracts," Adam said. "I think people hate me."

"You're afraid people hate you, because your audience is diminishing?" Jon asked. "Based on movie sells?"

"That's the only measure I have," Adam said.

"Hypothetically, if you were to compare your career to say, Jim Carrey, what would you identify as different?" Jon asked.

"I thought you were this great guru? You want me to compare myself to others? No guru does that," Adam said.

"I am not a guru. I am also not a counselor, which is why I can answer that question I posed. You're stagnating because you're stuck in adolescence. Jim Carrey reached beyond comedy and added drama. It was a blend, but then he grew, and he grew with his audience, his peer support group. Your peers are still there, and you they love you and you were funny when you were all in high school together, but now your peers have graduated and grown up and got families."

"You're saying my work is infantile?!" Adam said.

"Pretty much. Now, if a younger person was to do what you do, they'd get laughs because, well, their peers are still in high school, but you, you're reaching the point where people just shake their heads and say that's sad, or worse, call you dirty old man," Jon said.