she likes the color yellow

hymn of pride

the weight of myself
is carried heavily
on my shoulders.

there's allegedly
a balance between
self love
and self hatred.

there much be
a golden ratio
to be settled.

on one hand
i could fall
like a house of cards
when a jack is stolen
from the bottom.

my neck would snap
like the rope
used for hanging.
death, a blessing
from my angsty soul.

yet the other end
isn't much better.

pride would swell
with every step
and every word.
however,
if my ego trips,
i fall into
the abyss
of insecurities.

both end tragically
and without resolution.

oh! is there any
happy medium?
please guide me
my guardian angel.