Thorn Year (가시연) (ENG)

(가시연 ) Thorn Lily: Main Story - CHAPTER 17

I passed out.

When I struggled to open my eyes, I thought I saw him with tears marring his handsome face. I remembered feeling my feet grow cold as they dangled in the air, but now they feel so warm. He probably brought me down onto the bed. Yunho's gaze was filled with disbelief and hurt, knocking me down from the clouds back to reality.

He held my hands tight and I came back to life... I saw him clasp both his hands together, praying softly and sighing in sorrow. I looked upon him, utterly speechless - did I hurt him again?

Even though he doesn't know why I attempted suicide, he felt the agonizing pain all the same. I don't know what is he thinking and I couldn't take it anymore. He knows how I feel, and yet he did all those things in front of me, including letting me see him touch that woman. If Kim Jaejoong did, will he still be able to care about that unborn child?

"Please don't do this again... When I saw you on the brink of death, I..."

He bit his lips hard and kept crying - the sight of him like this irks me! I inhaled deeply, feeling my head throb with a dull ache, letting my mind wander and lead me towards the black swamp...

"When I was almost gone... I couldn't remember you... My mind was blank... I couldn't remember anything. All I could hear was a rhythmic thunder in my ears, as if my heart was going to burst... it felt as if blood was seeping out from my eyes, but I just couldn't remember your face... I couldn't die like that... I must remember you even at the end... so don't cry, because without your permission, I won't die..."

He lifted his head and wiped away his tears, crawling into the bed next to me and held me tight like a timid little child. Ah, it makes me love and hate him at the same time!

"I tried my best to forget you... but even if I couldn't see you, I still loved you... day after day... I just couldn't forget you at all... It's not that I don't want to return to the past My heart kept thinking of those days, thinking of you, unable to forget everything... It confused me That's why I was so cold to you at one moment and warm the next "

You and I I wonder who brought the most pain to the other?

Could you ever understand how I felt when you abandoned me to get married? That feeling of hatred and betrayal was so intense that I could hardly breath. My tears never ceased to flow; the Jung Yunho who overcame the harsh reality to love me, and the Jung Yunho who chose marriage to escape from this love, are they really the same person? Why are we always crying? Who are we crying for? Will there ever be an end to this pain?

I pushed him away, feeling him stare at me from behind his tears. Even I can be strong on my own! And yet you chose to forget, to be a cowardly Jung Yunho! Let me bear the burden of my own sins! I'm not abnormal, so just let me perish on my own!

"If only I could unearth everything, all those memories including you then it would've been easy. But I... you're the only thing I have... I can't cut them off at all the sadness and unforgivable things you did, I can throw all of that away. but the one thing that I can never get rid of is you, Kim Jaejoong... I really regret it now "

Hearing his words, I wrapped my arms around him tightly and laid on his shoulders, sobbing uncontrollably. He's pulled me out from the depths. Yunho ah! Why is it that it pains me whenever you smile blissfully, but your tears make me feel so happy?

"Yunho... I "

"...Mm "

"I... it hurt like this too when I had my wisdom tooth extracted "

I felt his warm breath as he chuckled.

"So you never even tried to forget me...?"

How would you expect me to continue living if I forgot you? Ever since I was 17, I could never possibly forget you.