Thorn Year (가시연) (ENG)

(여우의 요람 ) Fox's Cradle: Sequel - CHAPTER 2

In the past 3 years, out of all the long conversations I had with Yunho, the best would be when we were shopping together, choosing furniture and decorations diligently. What should we buy, where should we put this? We would have adorable little squabbles over such mundane things. I do love shopping a lot after all, even if it weren't for this.

"How about this?"

She shook her head shamelessly.

"This?"

"Mm!"

That finally pleased her, and she quickly took back her unhappy expression and hugged her father tightly around his neck. Jung Yunho's face practically screamed that he was fine with anything as long as his daughter likes it. The color of this blanket didn't even match the decorations in our house! But my protests fell upon deaf ears, and I couldn't help throwing looks of hatred at the back of his handsome head - even my one and only pastime had disappeared. From then on, he'd buy everything according to A-hyun's wishes on our shopping trips.

He kept picking out all the things that she likes. Even when I told him that I was hungry, he shrugged it off with a "We'll eat in a moment, okay?", pretending that he's concerned about me. Though I'm sure he didn't mean it, everything that Jung Yunho did became a thorn in my eye. He's not even trying to pretend anymore, showing his real emotions like a child. His eyes were constantly trained on little A-hyun, and he looked as though he loved her so much that he didn't know what to do with her. It was totally different from the loving stares he gave me. I guess you could call it a contented and relieved look? Either ways, it's definitely love.

He continued to interact with the child with those soft glances, patting her head as he spoke.

"I suppose we'll have to move house after a while. Jaejoong ah, where shall we live then?" "Is there a need to do so?"

Though our hands were filled with shopping bags, I still looked through all the things that we bought when we reached the restaurant. Most of it were for preparing for the approaching summer, like summer dresses. Even his taste in clothes got better for the sake of his child - all the dresses he picked out were lovely. And most importantly, the designs suited her a lot, unlike the one I ripped apart that day.

The child grew up happy and healthy, a life borne from a body that I had tormented physically and emotionally, a life that fed not on her mother's milk but my man's love like a little monster. And now, she's standing right before my eyes, and I could scarcely believe it.

"What, Jaejoong...?"

"Mm..."

"Angry?"

"No."

This complicated feeling can't be described using 'angry'. Perhaps the only word that's close enough would be 'melancholy'. Her unintentional gazes wounded me each time; such a pathetic, fragile heart I have.

"I'm just a little worn out."

He said nothing. This excuse that's nothing like a proper excuse only made my heart heavier, so I decided that I would stop all this nonsense. I won't cling to his arms and whine to him like a poor kid anymore, and I will be more mature so that he wouldn't need to worry about me. But I'm so fragile now, so I still need to prepare myself mentally first.

"It'll get better when you're used to it. Sorry, it's my fault for bringing her along."

It's alright if that's what he thinks. This is a sort of self-reflection and repentance for me. I admitted that I was jealous so I lowered my head, but he reached out a hand and lifted my chin. Holding my face, he ran a finger across my cheek as if he was wiping off a tear, smiling at me gently.