Guarded

||fifteen||

I don't go to school today and just stay at home, helping my mother with anything she needs.

Why didn't she tell me?

How long has she been keeping this from me?

Is that why she was so ecstatic when I said I made friends?

Because she didn't want me to be alone?

"Cassidy, sweetie, I'm fine. You should really be at school," my mum says, getting up from the recliner.

I quickly push her back down in the seat. "No, no, you need to stay seated and rest and get better, okay?" I fluff her pillow. I know I'm being ridiculous, but I just don't know any other way to react.

"Honey, I'm fine-"

"No, mum. You're not fine. You're sick. And you need to get better." I clench my jaw. She shakes her head and reluctantly sits back down in the chair.

"Cancer isn't something you can cure with chicken noodle soup," she mumbles.

My phone buzzes.

A text from Niall that reads:

Hey, Cassie. Why weren't you at school today?? Is everything okay?

I'd rather explain in person I reply.

I'll be over in 10

I smile at his immediate concern.

While I'm stirring the soup for my mum, there's a knock on the door.

"Hey, babe." Niall pecks my lips. "What's going on?" He wears a white tank top that hangs low so his chest hair is visible and a gray and purple Laker's cap.

"I-uh-," I stutter.

"I'm gonna go lie down in my bed, okay, Cassidy?" My mum gets up and starts walking towards her room. I nod.

I look up at Niall, he has a worried expression on his face. I feel tears well up in my eyes and soon they're flowing down my cheeks. Niall pulls me into an embrace and I cry, not so softly, into his chest. He doesn't ask what's going on again, because he knows I just need to let it all out.

We make our way over to the couch and sit down, Niall still has his arms around me. He places a hand on my cheek and gently pushes a piece of my brunette hair out of my face. He leans in and softly kisses my lips.

"I am so glad I can do that whenever I want to now," he says, making me giggle slightly. "Now, do you wanna talk about what's going on?"

I nod slowly. "My mum, she told me this morning that she was so glad that I found someone like you. And that you changed my outlook on life and love and all that. And then she started to cry and told me it was because she was scared that when she was gone she didn't want me to be guarded and alone."

Niall holds my hand and gently rubs his thumb over the back of it.

"What did she mean 'when she's gone?'" He quizzes.

"She-she-" My sobs get louder. "She has cancer. My mum has cancer and there's nothing I can do about it. The only person who's ever loved me and she might possibly die."

Niall pulls me in close, rests his chin on my head and runs his hand up and down my arm. "Don't say that. She's not gonna die, yet. She's doing fine. I love you, okay?" He kisses the top of my head. "I love you so much Cassie."

"I love you, too."

-

I sit on a bench after school on this warm Friday afternoon with Michaela, waiting for Niall to show up because he drove me here this morning. It's been two weeks since I found out my mum has cancer and Niall has been super supportive and helpful and kind of romantic. He's helped make almost all of the meals. And when I say helped, I mean he had Harry make the food and he just brought it over in a crock-pot.