Guarded

||twenty-eight||

"He's gone," I sob. "He's halfway across the world and there's nothing I can do it about it. I haven't even gotten over my mum dying and he just had to leave."

We sit in my cheap apartment living room, surrounded by used Kleenex and empty pints of ice cream, two weeks after Niall went away to Dublin.

"Oh, honey," Marie says, handing me a tissue.

"It was my fault. My credit card kept getting denied and I couldn't call you because you weren't picking up. I should've found another way to get the tickets. I'm so sorry, Cass. I know how much you love him." Emme rubs my shoulder in a comforting way.

I shake my head. "No, it wasn't your fault. You were trying to help and I was stupid for turning my phone off. It was my fault." I wipe my eyes with a tissue.

We sit in quietude for a while, until Marie pipes up. "Have you tried calling him?"

I shake my head. "Yeah, but all I get it is a bloody machine saying, 'This number has been disconnected.' I mean, can you believe he would change his number? And not even tell me?" I take another tissue and blow my nose. "I just- he said he was in love with me. He said he never wanted to lose me." I throw my arms in the air. "Well, Niall, here I am, and there you are. We're on opposite sides of the world with no way of contacting each other. Love you, too, babe."

"Cassidy," Emme starts, but I hold a hand up to silence her. I don't want any pep talks right now. I need to let out my emotions.

I take a pillow and throw it forcefully on the ground. I slam my head onto the pillow and continue to sob loudly.

Harry, Liam, Louis, and Zayn walk in the door and see what's going on. They give Marie and Emme odd looks. Marie explains and they all give that 'Oh Lord what did I just walk into' face.

"Hey, uh, Niall called me today," Harry suddenly blurts out.

My head perks up like a dog when someone says bacon. "Really? What did he say? Did he say anything about me? Does he know that two weeks ago I followed him to the airport and tried to go with him? But the credit card got rejected? Does he know I still love him?" At this point, I'm basically on top of Harry, all up in his face, asking these ridiculous questions.

"All right, all right, I'll tell you what he said if you'd just...back off a little," Harry says, pushing me away from him, gently.

I get off Harry, but sit right next to him, hugging his arm. I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing, since Harry and I aren't even that close, but he doesn't seem to mind.

"Niall called and said how amazing Dublin was. He said the place was beautiful and that he does, in fact, miss all of us." My hopes get high. "And that he wishes he could share this experience at his dream university with his best friends." Did Niall mention me? I ask Harry. "I don't know, Cass. I asked him if he was thinking about you, but he just changed the subject." My heart sinks so deep in my chest that I think it's in my stomach now.

I start to cry again and that's when the boys and Marie and Emme decide it's best if they leave me alone. But that's exactly what I don't need; to be alone.

~

short chapter oops

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-Anna xo