Guarded

||twenty-nine||

I walk into work in the next morning, feeling awful. Which is really nothing new.

"Morning, Cassidy," the receptionist greets me.

"Hey, Mandy," I reply, going to the janitor's closet.

"Cassidy?" Betty, Alexis's secretary, calls. "Alexis spilled her coffee again. Would you mind cleaning it up?"

"That's my job." I sigh and take out the mop and bucket, full of soapy water. I walk over to Alexis's office and begin cleaning the large puddle of coffee.

"Good morning, Cassidy. How are you?" Alexis asks as she walks in.

"I'm okay, I guess." I shrug.

"Still upset about that guy, huh?" Alexis takes a seat behind her desk and motions for me to sit in the chair opposite her. Alexis and I have gotten really close since I started this job. She's kind of like the older sister I've never had. If my older sister was my boss and co-editor in chief of a big magazine.

"I don't need a therapy session. I'm really fine, Alexis-"

"No, I want to talk to you about it. It's not good to bottle up your emotions. You'll go crazy. Now, tell me about your situation."

"Well," I sigh. "I haven't talked to him since a couple weeks after my mum died. He told me he was going to Dublin and I guess I kind of shut him out. I haven't heard from him since. He called my friend, Harry, yesterday, though. Harry asked if he was thinking of me, but he just changed the subject."

Alexis nods. "Well, I'm going to say this out of love; it was very stupid of you to shut him out when he told you he was going to Dublin. You should've embraced your time with him even more and made it the best couple of months ever. Also, I think he misses you."

I tilt my head to the side. "Why do you say that?"

"Because he won't talk about you. You hurt him by shutting him out. I understand, you're hurt by him leaving, but it probably killed him inside to leave you. I saw the way he looked at you. I saw the way you looked at him. You two were so in love. You two still are so in love." She smiles at me. "I think you need to see him."

"Alexis, are you saying you want me to go to-"

She cuts me off by sliding a first class plane ticket across her desk. "Go get him, tiger."

I give her a blank look. "I'm sorry. That was weird. Remind me to never say that again. Go get you're man back," she says, laughing slightly.

I smile widely and take the ticket. I run over and embrace Alexis in a large hug. "Thank you so much."

She crinkles her nose. "I don't like to see my employees upset."

-

I sit at home, hours later. I gave the tickets back to Alexis because I think it's better to do things on my own and in my own time. Plus, I already owe her some money, so why add more onto my tab?

I walk to the fridge and take out the supplies to make some Mac & Cheese.

I hum the tune of How to Be a Heartbreaker by Marina & the Diamonds as I put the macaroni into a pot and fill it with water.

After my meal is prepared, I sit down at the kitchen table, reminiscing over all that has taken place in this very spot. It's where I learned mum had cancer. It's where Niall met my mum officially for the first time. It's where Niall and I made up after our first fight.

I feel like crying, but I'm all cried out. I can't physically shed any more tears.

My phone rings and I pick it up. It's Mandy from work.

"Hey," she says. "We're having a party tonight for the lower ranking employees at my place. Y'know, assistants, receptionists, janitorial staff, basically anybody who's not an editor, creative director, designer, all that fancy mumbo jumbo. Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to come."

"Really? You want me to come to the party?"

"Well, it's more like you're supposed to be there because you're part of the lower ranking staff, but yeah, I want you to come." She pauses. "It'll help you with that boy," Mandy adds in a persuasive tons.

"All right. I'll be there."

-

I walk into Mandy's large apartment cramped with people. Loud music is blaring through the entire place along with the voices and screams of other party guests.

Several other employees that I recognize greet me and I send a small wave.

"Wow," I say to Mandy over the loud music. "There's a lot of people here. I don't recognize over half of them."

"That's because over half of them don't work at Fad Magazine. Half of them aren't even employed." She laughs and takes another sip of what looks like champagne.

"I thought you said this was a work party?" I say even louder.

"Yeah," she replies, almost yelling. "I lied. It was the only way to get you to come." She bursts out in laughter again and then greets one of her friends by saying, 'Hey, girlfriend.' Mandy's getting a little tipsy.

I think I spot a familiar blonde head, but when I take a second glance, it's gone. I shake it off as three actual familiar faces greet me.

"Louis? Harry? Liam? What are you guys doing here?"

"What does it look like we're doing, Cass?" Louis raises an eyebrow at me. "We're partying."

"How do you guys know Mandy?" I ask.

"She's an old friend of mine," Harry answers. "My older sister went to school with her."

I nod in understanding as Zayn walks up. "Hey, Cass. I didn't expect you to be here." He nudges Liam and winks.

Liam rolls his eyes at Zayn and punches his upper arm. "Ow! What was that for?"

"God, Zayn, you're so bad at this," Liam snaps.

"Bad at what?" I interrupt.

"Nothing," Louis replies quickly. "We should really go say hi to Mandy. It's only polite to greet your hostess." He pushes the other boys away. I shrug and go over to the food table. I skim over it until I see little wiener dogs in mini buns. My hand reaches down for it, but instead of feeling a hot dog bun, I feel a hand.

My head pops up and meets with two beautiful, blue, familiar eyes- they're the ones I fell in love with.

"N-Niall?" Is all I can manage to get out.

"Hi, Cassie."