soulmate ↠ taennie ✓

18: crooked

I want to go back, but I have nowhere to go.
I want to love, but no one to love.
What am I supposed to do?"

- G-Dragon's "Crooked"

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Taehyung has his fair share where he can't contain his emotions. He was truly happy these days until he met with his ex again.

there are days when Taehyung sit down and let his past crawls inside him and there were certainly days when he let the thoughts break him down and today is one of them ... and it couldn't get any worse when today is his and Jennie's 100th day anniversary. Jennie and he are supposed to have a picnic together near Han River and it was certainly past the time where they both decided to meet up.

He was cleaning some of his book that was scattered around his bookshelves when his dog, Yeontan knocked over his rack and saw a photo book of his ex. Seeing his ex's face back definitely brought all of the past memories of how hard she'd cry when they decided to end the relationship.

Even if Jennie said she was willing to wait for Taehyung but Taehyung couldn't help feeling the guilt building inside of him. It felt like he was gotten eaten alive and day by day pieces of him were gone. He wondered where did he lose the ability to love back. Would Jennie eventually leave him knowing he was impossible to change ? Why did he even accept to be Jennie's boyfriend when he certainly didn't deserve her.

He was leaning on his bedroom wall. His mind went blank and it hurts so badly. He started to sob and his sobbing grew louder. He was certainly having a trauma attack over again as he was so afraid to hurt someone again.

As he cried and cried, the pain was all over him. He had each of his hand pressed lightly on each side of his head as he had fallen sitting down on the floor while hugging both of his knees and deepened his face onto his jeans. He definitely shed tears. He was shaking and crying so loudly.

Suddenly he heard a girl with long brown hair just entered his room but he didn't even bother to look at the person as he was shaking and crying too much. The girl immediately went to him, grabbing his wrist and hands from his knees to look at his face. His eyes were red and puffy from crying, he had swollen lips, his cheeks and nose were red, he continued to let out screams of pain.

He was surprised by the sudden action of the girl and he didn't even have any energy to run away and the girl in front of him was definitely the reasons why he cried. Jennie Kim his girlfriend. The person he was afraid to hurt.

She imminently knelt down at him and put her arms around him. He buried his face onto her shoulders and neck, as his scream and cried of pain quiet down.

His sobs were softened as she caresses his hair with her hands whispering softly," it's alright, you're gonna be alright and I'm never gonna leave you." to him. He hugged her back.

There they were in each other embrace. Taehyung's body felt weak, as his eye started to feel heavy and his hand feel light. He was starting to tumble. He felt her supporting his body and led him towards his bed.

As she brought him there, she gently laid him down on his bed ." Let's just rest for today okay? We still have many months to go right? Sleep my Taehyung. I'll brew you some tea." When Jennie was about to get up and leave she felt Taehyung grabbing her hands.

"Jennie.... please stay here with me." and she did. She caresses Taehyung's hair and Taehyung feel like his eyes were battling to stay awake.

Taehyung wouldn't admit it but he truly loves Jennie. She brings the best out of him and he brings the best out of her. At first glance, people thought the both of them were too opposites with one another but if you look closely you can see on how they both complete one another just like puzzle pieces, a magnet and the yin and yang. Polar opposite yet similar in their ways.

Taehyung woke up feeling a warm embrace on top of his chest and saw his girlfriend laying her head on top of his chest. He wanted to carefully wake up but failed when he suddenly sneezed after crying for too long. The girl was startled with his deep voice but still looked at him with warm smiles.

"Sorry... I woke you up... sorry I've ruined our date.. sorry I'm not a good person.. sorry I've should treat you better.. sorry--" Taehyung fidgets with his hands and refused to look at the girl in front of him. Jennie feels her heart wrench when she heard his apologies when it wasn't a big deal for her. She knew Taehyung deals with fear and anxiety of not being good enough and Jennie didn't want him to change who he was. Jennie cupped his face to force him to look at her and

"Kim Taehyung, when I confessed and decided to be your girlfriend, I've already accepted every flaw you have and I love every inch of you... Your constant worries of not being good enough for me, your anxieties on what love is, your weirdness which sometimes doesn't make sense, the random quiet thoughts that keep you awake at night and you yourself. I myself am not perfect. I have flaws, I also have the same anxieties of not being good enough, the same guilt whenever I see you in sadness so please don't feel too sorry about being yourself. I love you and you know that."