Battleborn

The Mockingjay

 I had a nightmare about the Hunger Games and woke up in darkness, but I could feel Finch’s body next to mine, and I relaxed immediately. It scared me a bit how little time it had taken me to learn to trust him. That wasn’t like me. I was like my Mother. I didn’t trust anyone aside my kin. But there was something about Finch’s gentle heart that made me have complete faith in him. It was almost as though I’d convinced myself people like him could do no harm. Sure, he had the Capitol’s naivety, and so much unprovoked cheeriness it scared me, but he was also caring and selfless and brave. It took a lot for him to move from home to live in 13. To stand up to Elliott. To give me a second chance when I threw his friendship in his face. I call that brave, no matter what anyone else thinks.

 I kissed his hair lightly as I got out of bed. It was another early start for me, but I wanted a chance to wake up properly before I faced the training group again. Undoubtedly, I’d made an impression on them the day before, but I wasn’t sure it was necessarily the one I wanted. I wanted them to fear me, but to also respect me. I wanted to build them up to be better soldiers, but also better people. They were never going to be good soldiers without empathy and altruism and cooperation. Somehow, they’d been deprived of those traits. And we needed to build them together. I was sure it would benefit me too. But to get what I wanted, I had to try a new approach.

 I scanned my wrist to get my timetable and found that the session didn’t start until after lunch. Still, I ate my meagre breakfast quickly and headed down to the training floor. I wanted to get in some exercise, as what I had planned that day didn’t involve much of it. I wasn’t having a typical training session with the boys. I was trying something new.

 I met Finch for lunch in the dining hall and told him quickly about my plans for the session. He listened quietly and intently, spooning tomato soup into his mouth as he nodded along.

 “I think it’s a great idea,” he said when I’d finished “Go for it. Those kids may need a push in the right direction, but now that you’ve shown them who is boss, you need to get them to trust you. I think you’re going about it the right way.”

 Glad I had his approval, I ate my lunch quickly and bid him goodbye so that I could set up for the afternoon. I had to use a bit of imagination with the tools that I had. When the boys started turning up in dribs and drabs, they looked curiously around the room. They were considerably quieter than the day before, and for good reason. Just as the clock was reaching half one, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Zach, his nose plastered up and his expression blank.

 “I’m not going to apologize for what I said. You broke my nose,” he said.

 “Then I won’t apologise for breaking your nose,” I retorted. To my surprise, Zach gave me a half smile and stuck out his hand to shake.

 “Then we can mutually agree to put it behind us without any further discussion,” he said. I nodded, and reluctantly shook his hand.

 “Agreed. I will need you to co-operate from now on, Zach. Do you understand?”

 “Yes. And don’t worry. These guys may look like they are shaking in their boots now, but they actually admire you. They think you gave me what I deserved. You’ll have no further problems. I promise.”

 I tried not to blush, because really, that meant more to me than anything else he could have told me. All I’d wanted was some respect. And if my methods had worked, I wasn’t going to punish myself for them.

 I clapped my hands together for attention, but all eyes were already on me anyway. I cleared my throat.

 “Hello, everyone. Now, I know we all got off to a wrong start yesterday, so today focusses on trying to fix that. I’m hoping the activities might be somewhat fun, and it will help us all in getting to know one another. So. I want you all to get into pairs.”