Conspiracy (Sequel to Hypocrisy)

Chapter 3

As the sun started rising, I came to the conclusion that sleep was no longer an option. That night I had tossed and turn, getting more and more frustrated as the hours rolled by and my eyes got a bit heavier, yet wouldn't close. I'd say it was because I was overthinking, but that couldn't be it. At around 2 a.m. my mind shut off and I was just kind of... Well, numb. I hated to use that expression because it's so cliché, but I literally couldn't feel anything. The wall I had been staring at didn't bring me any train of thought, and I really couldn't think of anything that I already haven't over thought about. My life hasn't changed that much, leaving me with the same things to think about over and over again.

At around 7:30, I heard noises in the kitchen, so I decided to get up and converse. Company seemed like the best thing to have at the moment.

Carefully making my way into the kitchen, I peeked around the corner to see who it was. Of course, it was Anouk, Phil's girlfriend. Let's face it, Phil would never be awake in these hours of they day. I knew that much.

"Anouk?" I called out, getting her attention. A hit startled, she looked over at me and flashed a sad smile. By the looks of it, Phil had ranted to her about our earlier conversations. Pushing away my curiosity of what he said to her, I tried to maintain a normal conversation.

"Alan? What are you doing up so early?" She asked, stirring her coffee and whipping down the place where she mistakenly spilled sugar. Her bony fingers wrapped around the warm cup as she brought it to her lips, taking a small sip.

"I couldn't sleep. How about you? Why are you up so early?" I questioned. She lives with the king of sleeping in, how does she manage to get up in the early hours? Most of all, how can she stand being alone? Personally, I'd stay in bed with my significant other until they woke up, just to avoid being alone.

"I always get up early, honey. I enjoy mornings." She answered, adding a girly chuckle at the end. I laughed too, but then the silence came in. Ah, awkward silences how much I hate you. Anouk brought the coffee to her lips once again, taking a bigger sip since it had cooled down. She looked so tired, and as much as I hate to say this, sad. You could see it in her eyes, how the brownness was clouded and how her smile never seemed to reach them. The one time that I had saw her, she was so filled with life. What could possibly be there to drain it?

"Anouk?" I called. She looked up, showing me her lifelessness in its true form. The way her face caved in at certain places and how small wrinkles were here and there, no matter her young age. "How's life?" I asked. She chuckled, but it was all too fake.

"Do you want the truth?" She whispered, setting her coffee down. Looking up at me, she seemed to take concern in my interest. Of course, I nodded. That was the point in the question, to get nothing but the truth. "I don't want to be here." She admitted. "I'm supposed to be a famous painter, traveling to paint what I want. Money wasn't supposed to be an object for me, yet it's all I worry about. My dreams ran away from me, and I let them. Now, I find my dreams in drugs. I don't know why I even tried them in the first place. Experimenting, I guess. But, it got out of hand. Everything's out of hand." She explained.

"Do you still paint?" I asked.

"Sadly, no. I haven't really found time to do it, and when I do I always get so frustrated when I can't do something right. I used to make art out of my mistakes. Now they're just mistakes." She admitted.

"Well, if you don't enjoy art anymore, then what's your dream? And what stopped you from painting?" I questioned.

"My dream is to make it to the next week without blowing my brains out." Giving me a weak smile, she looked down. Life was taking so much out of her, she was so incomplete. "As for what stopped me from painting, I'd like to say it was all my fault. I mean, self blaming has always been my thing, has it not?" She explained. "But, the more I thought about it, I think it was phil." She admitted. "But, I mean it in the nicest way possible. Like, I focused on him, not art."

"Is it worth it?" I asked. She looked taken aback, almost like she never thought about it. I mean, it's something that doesn't cross your mind a lot. Like, after all you went through, was it worth it?

"You know what Alan, I don't know. I don't know if it was worth it. I don't know if I'm wasting life away by attending a crappy job with low pay and coming home to make dinner for a man I once was in love with." She began. "But I can't see it being any other way. I don't see an Anouk who chased her dreams, but I imagine her much happier. It's too late to change it know. I'm now just a normal citizen." She admitted.

"So what you're saying is, chase you dreams and you can find happiness within them?" I concluded.

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

With that information and this new inspiration I had found within me, I set off I'm attempt to chase my dreams. My dreams of being Austin's, that is.

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AUTHORS NOTE

So, that was just a filler chapter and it was VERY badly written. As for editing, well this entire story isn't edited. But, I love writing it and I love you <3