Keys to Happiness

12. Key

Being on stage was like nothing else in the world, the emotions encompassed in those moments wholly unlike anything else. The rush that I received from knowing that all my hard work had culminated into this one day in time, the connection I felt with the audience, and the joy that I'd personally feel when I was onstage with my members; all makes the trials of being an idol worthwhile.

Throughout our performances for the comeback, I was focused on one thing; making this the best stage possible. Forgetting my dance moves was never an issue for me, but today as one of the strongest background vocalists of the group, Onew hyung and I usually take turns during our performances to take up the background vocals while Jonghyun hyung sings the adlibs.

Taemin keeps us all together with his magnetic dancing, and Minho kills the rap as usual. I've done so many plays and been on stage with so many different people, but nothing compares to the feeling of being with my group and just having fun like we used to during our rookie days.
Even though we know our music is good, we're all still shocked when we win awards on TV, and nothing shocked all of us more than winning for Married to the Music. We were actually about to rush off to our next schedule and were already moving to the edge of the stage when they announced us as the winners.
Of course, Jonghyun shed a few tears as he was always overly emotional, but all the rest of us were just plain shocked. It never failed to surprise me how much our fans loved us, and they continued to prove it every day.

In the midst of our success ,texting Aliah on a daily basis gave me the unique opportunity of having someone else besides my members to tell all my concerns and thoughts to since my Halmoni had died. I enjoyed telling her about my day, and shocking her with tidbits about the entertainment industry. She was so surprised when I told her that sometimes we would be nude in the room with our stylists before we went onstage if we had costume changes.
She told me that I should try to hide in a corner so they wouldn't see me naked, and I had to admit that I kind of enjoyed her jealousy. Little things that she said during our phone calls and texts made me once again grateful that I had someone who cared for me on an intimate level.

The promotions for our repackaged album were done in a blur of activity, gone so quickly that I barely had time to think. Before I knew it, we were doing our concert in Bangkok and the final song was being sung. Today was my birthday, and the members had made a big deal of it since we were on tour.
The fans loved their antics and it made me wish all over again that we would continue to make music together for a long time, even if we did end up having our own careers. Backstage after the concert, JongHyun stopped me on the way to the dressing room, he face full of smiles.

"KiBum-ah, congrats on your birthday again. How does it feel to be 24?"

"I really like it. This year is going to be way better than last year, I can feel it," I added thinking of Aliah.

"I'm glad. I noticed you've been texting a lot lately. What did you decide to do about the girl?" He poked me in the side and I shot him a glare before I straightened myself out.

"Well," I said with a wide smile, "we're dating."

"Yah, I'm really happy for you KiBum," Jonghyun said clapping me on the shoulder. "Just make sure you invite her to meet all of us."

"Why the hell would I do that? You guys would scare her off." Suddenly I felt sort of panicky; the other members were known for their teasing. I had been holding off telling them about Aliah on purpose but I couldn't keep them from her forever.

"Don't worry, we'll be nice. Besides, if you didn't scare her off, we don't really stand a chance, right?" Jjong joked and I felt my temper rise again.

"Shut up! You're not funny. She happens to think I'm very good looking," I said sharply.

JongHyun walked away laughing at that and I stayed in the hallway fuming. He never failed to get a rise out of me, but now I had another worry. What if the members didn't like Aliah, or worse, what if she didn't like them? She was a fan of Shinee, but none of us were the same as we were on TV, you could never really know an idol unless you spent time around them and in their comfort zone. And besides that, what if the other members liked her too much? She was so pretty; they could fall for her just like I did! I shook my head at the absurd turn my thoughts were taking and began walking to my dressing room. Jealousy would have to wait; for now, I would just look forward to seeing her again.

The next day

"Aigoo, not today, jebal," I tried to yell but failed. I hummed again, trying to loosen up my throat, and took another sip of the hot ginseng tea.

"It's no use hyung, your voice is gone," Taemin said gleefully from his seat on the couch, his hands moving quickly on the PlayStation controller he held.

"So noisy," I whispered fiercely. "Mind your own business and focus on your little game."

"Well, you've been doing that since you woke up this morning and it hasn't helped. It's probably because you sang too much at the concert yesterday. We all told you not to do so many songs live."

I shot a glare in his direction as he continued to talk on about the many stunts that I'd done during the concert. I ignored TaeMin's comments and took a longer drink of my tea, feeling bitter but not because of the maknae. The first time I would be visiting Aliah's apartment, and I couldn't speak louder than a whisper. It was completely understandable that as a singer, my voice would sometimes not be usable after a concert, but I had wanted everything to be perfect for our first meeting after our absence from each other. Not being able to talk was like giving me a serious handicap.

I walked around the dorm in frustration, randomly peeking in at all the members. MinHo was playing a soccer video game, Onew was reading a book, and JongHyun was asleep which was usual for him. He was definitely a night owl and since his radio show would be on tonight, he would need his sleep so I refrained from bothering him. It was only eleven, but with nothing else to do I started getting ready for our date, feeling anxious. I had texted Aliah saying I would be there by eight, but I still had some important things to do before I saw her. It took me forever to figure out what I was going to wear since most of my closet was at my actual apartment instead of the dorms, but I decided on a red, black, and white striped shirt, dark blue skinny jeans, and black Ralph Lauren sneakers. I carefully tucked in the shirt so that it looked as if I'd done it carelessly, rolled up the ends of my jeans and added my real glasses as a final touch. I didn't want to wear my colored contacts today, I thought while styling my hair in the mirror. That was a first in a long time. I usually felt better about myself while wearing the contacts; they made me stand out and I liked that. But with Aliah, she seemed to like it when I was just myself, and it wasn't really me if I'd had blue or grey eyes every time she saw me.

As I walked down the hallway and into the living room, Taemin noticed me getting ready to leave.

"Hyung, where are you going? Out to eat? Let's go together!" He exclaimed excitedly, looking for all the world like one of my dogs.

"Aniyo, I'm not going to eat. And you can't come. Go bother Minho," I said dismissing him with a wave.

Taemin got up from his seat and came up behind me, hugging me around the waist.

"But hyung, it's been forever since we ate together. We can get samgyupsal or kogi. Please?" He turned his puppy dog eyes on me, but I had been immune since he'd turned seventeen and gotten taller than me. I pushed his hands away easily and continued getting my things together.

"I'm going shopping for something Taemin-ah. And get off before you mess up my clothes."

"What are you going to buy?" he asked while letting me go.

"Don't worry about it," I responded, unable to stop my blushing. I still hadn't told anyone about Aliah and I couldn't tell Taemin just yet. He was bound to tell everyone else before I could get comfortable with even asking Aliah to meet my members.

"Why are you blushing, hyung? Are you doing something you shouldn't be?" Taemin said curiously, taking a closer look at my clothes.

"Nothing! I'll be back late, so don't wait up!"

I walked out the door quickly, not waiting for a response from Taemin. I definitely didn't want him there while I picked out Aliah's gift.

I had noticed that Aliah didn't wear jewelry and during one conversation, she had told me she was allergic to most metals. I was going to the store to pick her out something that she could wear, hopefully so she would think of me when she saw it. I wasn't really someone who gave out gifts on a whim; I wanted this item to be special and to have meaning. As I started my car and began driving into the city, I wondered what piece of jewelry would show my affection for her the best. I would also get some food on the way there so that I wouldn't be starving until eight. I was nervous, but I was more than excited too. In just a few hours, Aliah would be all mine for the whole night.