park jinwoo ; ethereal [ ✔ ]

chapter 11 ; second impressions

I didn't respond to Jinjin last night. I was too confused. I wasn't even sure if I liked him that way even a little. Maybe I'm just oblivious to my own feelings even though I know very well that I like Bin.

He ended up taking me back to the diner so I can get my car, and I drive home in complete silence. The only sounds I can hear are my jumbled thoughts and the soft growl of the car's engine. My mind focused half on driving and the other half focused on what Jinjin said.

"I think I'm starting to like you..."

It kept repeating in my head, making me unsure if it was because I felt the same way or if it was just so shocking to me in general. I tighten my grip on the wheel, turning into my driveway and going inside quietly. My parents were probably asleep so I didn't want to wake them.

As I shut my door carefully, I sigh and fall onto my bed. I want to get to the bottom of why I feel conflicted in the first place but I'm too tired. I don't even change my clothes as I end up falling asleep uncomfortably on my bed.

Jinjin and Bin were the last people I thought of before I fell asleep.

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I wake up startled as I see it's light out. "Fuck! Did I sleep in?" I frantically grab my phone, turning it on to see what time it is and see it's 9 AM. Then I see it's Wednesday and realize it's a day off. This occasionally happened at school; the teachers go in for meetings while the students get to stay home. It's pretty nice.

Then my phone buzzes in my hand. Bin.

He's asking me if I want to hang out with MJ and Sanha today, to which I respond with "Who?" My phone vibrates again and he's reminding me that they were the people I met at the diner the night of the party. I'm fighting internally on what to say, but I end up agreeing.

I set my phone down when I'm given a definite timeframe to get ready and start doing so. It doesn't take me long before I'm sitting on my front steps, waiting in the sunlight for Bin.

It looks significantly clearer out than it was yesterday, so I admire the blue sky and the few bits of cloud drifting. Clouds... Sometimes when I was little and staring at the sky with Bin, we would talk about being clouds. How we wish we could run away together. We would hold hands while lying in the grass, heads slightly touching, as we point at funny clouds.

I wish I could go back sometimes. Back before I started feeling this way for him.

His car horn startles me and I jump, pouting at him from my porch. He smiles like an idiot and shyly waves. Seeing his face now makes me think of when we almost kissed yesterday, making my face burn red. No. No thinking about that today. This is stress-free and hang out time with some friends. No more.

I hype myself up to be calm and forget about the moment as I make my way to the car. When I get in the front seat, he turns to me and I see him hesitate. He's silent for a few moments before he speaks, "Are you okay? Eunwoo came over to visit and he told me what happened with Jinwoo... That fucking idiot..." I feel like he tried to mutter the last part, but he didn't mutter it very well. I feel anger bubble in my stomach. Why is he always treating Jinjin like shit?

"Okay. First of all, we aren't going to talk about Jinjin. At all. If you mention him again, I'm gonna steal your car and leave," I say this to him with such acute seriousness that he simply nods in response. "Secondly— Eunwoo visited you yesterday? What in the world did he want?"

Bin blinks, shrugging as he finally starts driving. "He came to apologize for Jinwoo. Eunwoo doesn't seem that bad a guy. Don't get close to him though— he's known as the player who's yet to have sex with any of the girls," he explains the situation and adds to it.