park jinwoo ; ethereal [ ✔ ]

chapter 12 ; abandoned

I probably slept about... three hours that night? I spent most of the time I could've spent sleeping thinking about the kiss with Bin and how it lingered even after so many hours. His lips were softer and sweeter than I imagined but I only got a bitter feeling from it.

It was Friday morning now and I'm in the car with Eunwoo, Jinjin, and Rocky. Eunwoo insisted I sat up front, per usual, and the guys sit in the back. I remained quiet the whole car ride and stared out the window. I think they were talking to each other, but I didn't feel like adding anything to the conversation.

"Ah, that's right. I'm sorry for constantly making sudden plans, but tonight's special," Eunwoo keeps staring ahead, but I can tell he's talking to me so I turn to pay attention. Once he knows he's got my attention, he keeps talking. "We plan on going to explore the old and abandoned factory not too far from here. We usually do it around this time because the security is low. I thought it was a good idea to invite you."

I dither and glance upwards at the rearview mirror, peeking at Jinjin who's staring down at his cellphone. Eunwoo was probably covering for him and I let a faint smile appear. "Sure. It'll be fun," I nod as I agree to go with them.

"Great! I can take you all home and then pick you up again around eight-ish, okay?" Eunwoo's smiling his knowing and secret-filled smile as he turns into the parking lot.

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He did what he said he would do and I sat at home, thinking about how to pass the time. My mom knocks on my already open door, still wanting to be polite before she walks in. She glances at my bed in silent permission to sit beside me and I nod. "Hey sweetie," she smiles at me and wraps one arm around me, resting her cheek on the top of my head.

She looks nothing like me. Which makes sense, considering I'm "American White" rather than Asian. I don't care though because she loves me more than my biological mother did. That's more than I could ask for as I hug her back. "Hi, mom... I'm going out tonight with Eunwoo and the others."

She's silent and I can tell she doesn't want me to go. "Do you have to? You've been out of the house more and more lately. I don't get to see my little girl anymore," she laughs lightly as if it were just like breathing.

I can't help hugging her tighter and she gasps with surprise, shortly followed by a chuckle. "I'm sorry... I wish I could stay home too, but I love them too much," I sigh, resting my chin on her shoulder. She nods quietly, not saying anything in response but I can tell she understands.

She surprises me when she does decide to speak. "How are things with Binnie?" I stiffen slightly and move away from her, fidgeting with my hands in my lap. "Oh no... Does he still not like you?" I quickly shake my head, looking at her so fast I probably would've hurt my neck if I'd looked any faster.

"No! He does like me... but I'm just confused..." I sigh before taking a short breath, really looking at my mom now. "What was it like when you kissed dad for the first time?" I see her squint, meaning she's really thinking, and then she breaks into the prettiest smile, sweetness oozing from her.

"It was like fireworks were going off. Sparks flying. I felt my heart soar but I felt so comfortable and over the moon."

I throw up a bittersweet smile because I realize I didn't feel that when I kissed Bin. It was a great first kiss, but it was just lacking the fireworks. The sparks. The feeling of comfort.

My heart tugged as I looked down and hugged her again. She chuckled in her chest and hugged me back before moving me back slowly. She moved a piece of hair behind my ear and also had a bittersweet smile. She always knew how I felt even without me having to say anything.