Lost

Knives

I wanted to believe the best.
Give you the benefit of the doubt.
I wanted to see the best in you,
As I had seen how great you could be.
I wanted to believe that
This was not actually happening.
I wanted to believe the words
You said to me with so much conviction.
I didn't want to think I was actually correct
When I was calling your bluff.
But I was being naive.
I knew the outcome
Before it was even close to coming true.
I gave you a few months.
In that time,
You did everything to prove to me
That my concerns were ill- based.
I started to believe you.
Trusted you over my instincts.
How foolish of me.
Within 6 weeks we drifted apart.
A distance created and perpetrated by you.
I tried to mend the gap,
Recreate that bridge,
But you widened the space faster
Than I could build.
Everything you said you wouldn't do,
You did.
They say trust your gut.
If I had,
Maybe I wouldn't still feel the pain
From when you shoved a knife
Right in between my shoulder blades.

                                                -J.M.