Blood, Depression, And Tears

Hate

Later on in the day I go to work, get stuck in traffic, and want to kill myself while I'm driving home. Wow...Today was amazing. When I get home I go upstairs and shower. After I shower I just lay in the dark thinking about my day. Suddenly someone knocks on my door. "Come in..." I say in a low voice. Bro opens the door and asks "You goin to sleep already? It's only like 8:30." I sigh heavily and say "I know but an 9 hour shift has me exhausted..." Bro closes the door behind him and sits in my bed. "C'mon, get up. I missed ya." He says quietly. I groan and get up "Your accent has convinced me...yay." Bro smiles slightly and replies "The accent gets everyone, ya know." I chuckle and sit next to Bro. I sighed softly and put my head on his should. His shoulder seemed high up even though I'm 6'0. Bro looked down at me and said in a quiet and caring voice "Are you okay?" I look up at him to see his beautiful orange eyes and a concerned look on his face. I hesitate answer and reply with "Y-Yeah...I'm fine." Bro sighs softly and says "At this point I know youre not fine..." I lift my head up and say "Okay then...Im not fine but that doesn't matter and since when did you care?" Bro sighed and said "I get it I'm not a good brother. I already know that, ya don't have to rub it in though." I looked away from Bro. Great...now I feel even worse..."I heard from Jade that you and John broke up...Is that true?" Bro says quietly. I close my eyes for a moment and take a deep breath. "Yeah we did..." I said in a sad tone. Bro hugs me with one arm "I'm sorry to hear that kiddo..." Fuck it hurts to hear his name. I hate feeling like this...I hate it...I hate it...I hate it! so much