Blood, Depression, And Tears

Black Out

Bro looks down at me and asks "Why did y'all break up...?" When he asked that I instantly felt like falling apart. "H-He said he was cheating on me...for the entire 2 years we dated." My voice cracked my bit when I said that. Oh God...I don't want to feel like this...make it stop. Please. I cover my face and start bawling. For fucks sake I'm almost 22 and I get like this over some guy, jeez. Bro hugs me tightly and says "Shh...it's okay..." I try to speak but Im crying so hard I can't even understand myself. "N-N-No it's not..." Finally after almost 20 minutes Bro calms me down and gets me to stop crying. I look down at my hands, my eyes all puffy, and say "What hurts the most is...that he's still with the girl he cheated on me with." What Bro doesn't know is that I never even tried getting back in the dating game cause in afraid to get hurt again. Bro sits quietly with the saddest look on his face. To me it seems like he's just taking pity on me. I bet John took pity on me by being my boyfriend...Wow. What makes everything worse is that everything I did after we broke up made me cry. For fuck sake masterbating made me cry then. That's why I don't do anything now. I looked up at Bro and said "I think I'm gonna go to sleep now...I'm tired." Bro nodded and went back to his room. A few minutes after Bro leaves I get up, go into my personal bathroom and close the door behind me. ((Trigger Warning)) I dig through a drawer and found one of my razor blades. I sigh softly and close my eyes as I pass the blade over my wrist. The cuts go from surface cuts to deep cuts. I make deep cuts on my other wrist as well. When I stop I toss the blood soaked blade in the sink. I start to get light headed and dizzy. It feels like the room is spinning. I turn and reach for the doorknob but I black out. Well fuck...