Blood, Depression, And Tears

Walk

Jade and John put their bags on the table and Jake decides to take everything out of the bags. I can see things from chips to gummy bears. Munchies as far as the eye could see. ((GOD IM FAT)) Jade smiles and gets the blender. "Fuck yeah! I'm making shakes!" I smile and say "Woah Harley has a wild side, huh?" Rose nudged me softly and looked over Johns way to show that he was looking at me. John always liked my smile cause I have dimples. He looking at me just stresses me out. I look over at Rose and say "I'm gonna go outside to smoke, Kay?" Rose nods softly as a reply. I grab my coat and go outside. For a couple of minutes I just sit on the steps of the house. Finally I actually light my cigarette and start smoking my cancerstick. When I'm nearly through my cigarette John comes outside and says "Can we walk and talk for a bit?" I sigh and say yes. After I'm done with my cigarette we start walking. We walked for like a block or two in silence. Then finally John says "Dave...?" I look over towards him and say "What?" John says quiet for a few moments as if his thinking then he finally asks "Why do you hate me...?" My eyes widened when I look over to him "What?" "Why do you hate me?" He repeats. I stay quiet for a bit. Like for another block or so we walk in silence. Then I finally say "I don't hate you...". John sighed softly and said "Well you act like you do...Dave?" Honestly there is a part of me that hates him but that's only a small part. The rest of me just wants to be happy. "Yeah?" "Do you still...h-have feelings for me?". Oh fuck no I am not letting my guard down so easy fuckboy. "Why do you ask?"
John looks away from me for a second. "No reason. I just wanted to know..." He said quietly. Oh no I know he's fucking lying.