LOST BOY | PHAN

sixteen

sometimes the universe gives you a gift to make up for how absolutely shit everything is, or at least that was how dan saw it. sometimes whatever's up there decides to cut you some slack.

dan's gift was both his parents awful long hours, the fact that dan had very little to do other than study, and phil lester's inability to do math.

when dan's doorbell rang, he in no way expected it to be who it was. he expected a mailman, or maybe one of his parents friends that he'd have to tell they weren't home. he was halfway through taking the ribbons out of his curls when he heard it, and he rushed down the wooden stairs to answer it.

but when he opened it his heart dropped.

dan automatically winced and tried to shrink in on himself at the sight of phil standing there, his hands shoved in his pockets, a cigarette balanced between his lips. he stared at him.

"please d-don't hurt me."

phil rolled his eyes and reached up to take the cigarette away from his mouth. "i'm not gonna hurt you, jesus."

dan stared at him curiously. "what's... what d-do you want, t-then?"

phil's eyes were so cold, the light dan used to see in them seemed completely gone. but he sighed, and his shoulders slumped, and dan saw a flash of... something.

"i'm gonna fail my math test."

dan raised his eyebrows curiously. "i..."

phil met his eyes. he looked a little... resigned. it was something dan hadn't seen in him in a long time. "i need your help, dan. come on, please."

dan paused, opening his mouth and closing it again for a second, although he knew it was useless to even pretend he was thinking about it. he stepped aside, holding the door open silently.

phil walked in, looking around slowly. dan swore he saw a hint of a weak smile on his face.

"hasn't changed much."

dan blushed and nodded. he paused. "y-you... you can't smoke in here. p-please."

phil turned to look at him and dan winced again, but he just nodded and went to the kitchen, putting the cigarette out in the sink. dan sighed slowly. if his parents smelled cigarette smoke... dan didn't know what they'd do.

dan went and sat down at the kitchen table, watching him. the back of phil's head was as pretty as ever. he sighed and looked away, waiting.

phil sat down after a second, in the chair next to him. he set a notebook down on the table. his slender fingers were wrapped in bandages and dan gasped, grabbing his hand automatically. phil flinched and yanked them away.

"what's wrong?" dan whispered. phil shook his head. he wouldn't look him in the eyes.

"there's so much you don't fucking understand, dan," he mumbled simply, and that struck dan like lightning. he knew even then that would be what kept him up at night for maybe weeks. what didn't he understand that phil did?

phil opened the notebook and dan watched him as he found the page he needed. phil's face was so beautifully crafted, he was a masterpiece. it made dan's heart flip. he thought he might have a heart attack if he thought of phil doing any more than look at him, let alone touch him.

god, something really was wrong with him.

phil slid the book to him and dan forced his eyes away from his face, traveling over the work phil had done. he smiled.

"s-see, you're just doing too much work." dan felt relieved as confidence replaced his stutter, momentarily at least. he tapped the first problem. "you're overthinking it."

dan looked up. phil was chewing on his lip, deep in thought.

"how so?"

dan thought about how to explain it. "you were nearly there, but then you kept working. you d-didn't have to do all that. i'll show you." he got up to find a pen. phil grabbed his wrist and dan froze.

"do you really love me?"

there was something in his voice dan hadn't heard before. he turned to look at him, ignoring how it burned his eyes like staring into the sun. he nodded. phil looked a little distressed.

"why?"

dan paused, thinking. "i know who you are."

he watched phil take a slow breath. "do you really think so?"

dan nodded again. phil swallowed and let go of his sleeve. he blinked quickly, looking back down at his work after a second.

"okay," he mumbled, running his fingers through his pretty hair. "okay. let's get this over with."

dan really hoped they didn't get it over with quickly.