LOST BOY | PHAN

twenty

yo the song false confidence matches this story so well i will CRY uh listen to it i'll put it up there ^
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the one time dan didn't look over at him as he entered the school was the time that phil decided to approach him.

he felt his presence before he spoke to him, this nagging feeling at the nape of his neck, pulling at him. he took a shaky breath and walked slower.

"hey," phil called. his voice made dan's heart stop. "dan, wait up."

dan froze, waiting for him to catch up despite his best interest. he squeezed his eyes shut for a second, shaking a bit.

"hey," phil breathed, from in front of him this time, and dan opened his eyes again.

he looked different again. his eyes had dark circles beneath them, but he wasn't as threatening. despite his reminders to himself that this was likely just a manipulative act, he couldn't help but be filled with sweet relief at the sight of him not angry.

"h-hi..."

phil rubbed at his jaw, glancing around quickly before speaking again.

"what have you been up to?"

dan blinked. "um, n-nothing..."

"uh huh."

he seemed distracted. dan wanted to reach out and touch him but he felt so unattainable, even standing in front of him, like a phantom. he wasn't really there.

dan thought of something he'd heard in a movie once, and it crowded his brain despite its irrelevance. you never really get over your first love.

phil was certainly his first love. was dan phil's?

and was he over it?

"how are y-you?" dan asked, shooing away his thoughts and clasping his hands in front of him. "how's your... girlfriend?"

phil visibly winced. "she's... i mean, i don't know. we broke up. why, did she say something to you?"

dan shook his head quickly, eyes trained on his stony face. "no."

"okay," phil muttered. "...good."

dan felt like crying. he'd missed him so much, and he didn't even know why... just being near him was insanely painful. he wanted to reach him, he wanted to push his fingers into his chest and read his heart like braille, with his fingertips.

"do you wanna c-come over sometime?" dan blurted before he could stop himself, wringing his hands. his fingers were sore from nervous fiddling at this point.

phil met his eyes. he looked surprised, mostly, and a little confused. dan stood his ground despite the fear pumping through his veins that phil's mood would suddenly flip and he'd hurt him for asking such a thing.

"we can watch a movie," dan continued, his voice delicate. "or... or m-make cookies. the ones y-your dads like... i c-could help you study..."

he just wanted to be little again. he wanted to be a little kid with phil. his heart burned with want.

phil looked like he might break, like he might scream at him or hit him or start crying. but he didn't. he wiped his palms on his jeans and nodded after a solid moment.

"yeah," he breathed. dan's eyes widened.

"y-yeah?" he asked, trying not to sound too eager.

"yeah," phil repeated, still nodding. "yeah. i'll... see you on saturday?"

"yes," dan whispered, his voice breaking. "saturday."

"saturday." phil pressed his lips together, looking him over. "don't tell anyone." he took a few steps backward, down the hall. "okay?"

dan nodded, biting his thumb nail. "okay."

phil nodded again, running his fingers through his slick hair. "okay. saturday."

he turned and walked away. dan watched his back, his heart racing.

he hoped this wasn't a mistake.