Relentless

Thirteen;

I felt horrible for acting the way I was, especially towards Riker, but I knew that if I stayed out there a second longer, I would have said something I'd regret later. I needed this time to cool down. I just couldn't believe anything Rocky had said. I knew the "adult" thing to do would be to forgive and forget, but there was something telling me not to trust him.

Time passed, I was unsure of how much. I push myself off of my bed and make my way towards the door. I open it and see Riker standing in front of me.
"I'm sorry." I say, because I was. "I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."
"It's okay." I slip my arms around him, and he does the same to me.
"No, it's not. I'm mad at Rocky, I shouldn't be taking it out on you."
"Really, it's okay. It's my fault for having him come over here."

Silence falls between us, as we stand there holding one another.
"Can we just forget about all of this?" I say, looking up at Riker. He nods.

The both of us walk over to the couch and sit. I pull my legs up, and wrap my arms around them, resting my chin on one knee. We are both silent.

A minute or two passes, the silence continues. I look over at Riker, who is staring at the coffee table in front of him. I couldn't imagine what he was thinking, but with everything today, it probably wasn't good. I say the only thing I could think to possibly make things a little better.
"If you want to go, you can. I don't want to force you to stay if you don't want to be here, and I completely understand if you'd want to leave." I say, putting my legs down, and sitting properly. Riker looks in my direction after a moment.
"I want to be here. I always want to be here," He pauses, and I knew what he was going to say next. "But, I should probably go." I nod, agreeing to his decision. Of course I wanted him to stay, but we knew it was better for the both of us to be alone and think about everything that has happened with Rocky today.

Riker stands, and I follow. We walk to the front door.
"Text me when you get home." I say, wrapping my arms around his torso.
"I will." Riker pulls me closer to him, kissing my forehead.
"I love you." I say into his chest.
"I love you, too."

I didn't want to let him go, and I could feel he didn't want to let go either. We both let our arms fall. Riker opens the door, and I follow him out. I watch as he gets into his car, starts the engine, and backs out of the parking spot. I don't go inside until I see him turn out of the parking lot, and onto the main road, where I can no longer see his car.

Once back in my apartment, something didn't feel right. The apartment felt empty. I felt empty.

I let out a long, depressed sigh as I lock the front door. I stand, leaning against the back of the door for a moment, before making my way back to the couch. Pulling my legs up next to me, I sit there staring at the wall. My mind was blank, just like the wall in front of me.

There were so many things I should be worried about at that moment. Riker. What Rocky had said. What's going to happen. Work tomorrow. Work tomorrow!
"Shit!" I say aloud, hopping up from the couch.

I rush into my room to get my things together for tomorrow, my first day back to work after three months off, which I was still surprised my boss allowed. For the first time since this morning, I look at the clock on my nightstand. 6:23PM. I hadn't been paying attention to the time today, it felt much later than 6PM. But realizing it was still semi early, I take my time, and am ready for tomorrow.

It still felt later than the actual time when I was finished, so I take a seat back on the couch, and turn on the TV. I search for something decent to watch, but nothing sparked my interest. I go On Demand, and turn on Guardians of the Galaxy, a movie I've seen close to 100 times, but still love. The only movie I'll always be in the mood for. I thought, as I put the remote down on the coffee table and pick up my phone that was next to it.

I knew I had some notifications, because I heard them earlier when I still had the volume on. I turned it to silent after a while, and it's been that way since. Most of the notifications were from social media, which none were important, so I dismissed them, and moved onto the more important things, like my actual text messages. I had five new messages, from Riker, Rydel, Eddie, and Rocky. Rocky's was so long it was cut into two separate messages.
I'm home. -Riker.
Thank you for letting me know.

How are you feeling ?? -Rydel.
Well, my headache is gone at least.

So are you ready for me when I get there ?? -Eddie.
I'll be ready for you to leave by the time you get here. Lol, j/k. :P

I know I shouldn't talk to, let alone text you, but I need you to know I was serious earlier. I meant everything I said. I didn't want to hurt either of you, that wasn't my intention. It was the last thing I wanted to do. You &Riker mean too much to me. -Rocky.

I didn't respond to Rocky's message. I still didn't want to, nor did I have anything to say to him. I needed some time to think about everything he's said today, now including this message, which I was unsure that Riker knew he text me.

So much running through my mind now, that I put my phone down, and just watch my movie.