Depression **Doing Good, Read Final Chapter**

Please

i still feel nothing. i dont understand

i  want to be happy, but my feelings arent there...

i want to feel something, but, i cant.

i hurt myself. bite myself, stab myself with pencils.

i try to feel pain to feel something, but its not the feeling i want

i want to feel something emotionally

it makes me mad sometimes. 

i get mad at myself, for not being able to feel

being mad is a feeling but it can be really scary sometimes

i get more vicious, i start biting harder, bleed, hurt.

i didnt mean to develop this habit

it just happened

i need help, actual help

from a therapist

from anything

ive been told to tell someone when i need help, and i have

but, no one can help me.

im a representative in a suicide prevention server

but how come i cant help myself?

its hard to ask for help there, because im supposed to know these things

i just want help, feelings, happiness, sadness, love, anything

i just am not physically or emotionally in the right place

im thankful for all my friends; specifically at this moment

Magi, Alex J, and Alex R, ... thank you.

one of these stories could be my last one day

but one of you, will know when it is, 

and all of you are what are keeping me here

thank you