Depression **Doing Good, Read Final Chapter**

Regret

Fuck, alan, please, don't die. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do whatever I did. It's 1 AM.

Don't take your life. Well, shit block me on every platform possible so i have no way of getting in contact with you?  1:15 AM

I have to report you to the suicide prevention group, i don't want you to die. I can't stop crying. 1:30 AM

I have to find every possible way to get to you, contact you, the suicide prevention group is working their asses off to get to you. 1:45 AM

Josh got in contact with him, they're talking. 2:05 AM.

Josh won't talk yet, i'm still crying, now i'm kicking stuff, trying not stab myself with these pencils. 2:10 AM

Josh is now in a call with me, it's quiet, I'm crying, he's messaging alan, trying to get him to talk to me or something. I don't know anymore. 2:20

Fucking hell.

Why?

You cunt bastard.

Dipshit.

I've cried for an hour and a half, what is wrong with you alan?

Josh learned that the only reason you went to every social platform you could think of and blocked us, was because you didn't want to be friends. Nope, you didn't want to die. You aren't depressed. You did it because you want new friends. That's not how you find them. Good luck to you though.

To find friends, it takes a long time. The ones you had were probably your current best chance. It's lonely, you usually find friends while in the toxic relationships, and give up the toxic ones. not fucking throw them away. You're going to be hella lonely until you find these new friends.

You will find new ones, over and over and over, that will use you. I thought we were friends, you know? Oh, no I'm the toxic one because I try to take you away from what makes you happy. Wait, what?

I question him about this, and well, its because I sent josh to "attack" him.

I thought alan was going to DIE. Kill himself. So, sending a legitimate troop of a suicide prevention team is obviously an attack... *queue the rolling eyes*

i'm pissed. that was douchey. 

After I lost friends, I chose you to keep because you're an amazing, and caring person. I thought you'd keep me as a friend too, because as soon as you said something, I always respond, or as soon as you show any signs of depression or whatever i'm right on the scene. I don't want you to get hurt. Okay then. Have fun.

If your new 'friends' find out that this happened alan, I dont think you will have them as friends for very long. Try to be more loyal. People make mistakes, without noticing, crazy, right!

You could've let me know what I was doing wrong. But oh well, another toxie out of my life!

thats what i'm calling them, toxie's  3:06 AM, and i'm out.