Depression **Doing Good, Read Final Chapter**

Holy Shit

Hey everyone! It's been a while since I've updated. Though, this will be set as the first chapter. 

What you will see through this book is me venting, being suicidal, wanting to hurt myself, all of that. So there's a serious trigger warning.

I have been self harm clean since September of 2019, so as of currently, 4 months. I don't plan to do it ever again.

Just know that in this, I thought I never would get better. I thought my life was ending. I thought everyone hated me. My brother, I said I hated him? I thought he hated me? He was going through so much and I was so stuck in my world I hated him. He's an amazing brother and wanted to protect me and himself.

The chapters were supposed to spell out something but I'm not going to write anymore so it doesn't matter, I don't even remember what it was going to say.

On the final chapter it says "Please be with me on the 18th." Or something along those lines. I assume I was going to attempt suicide. Not sure if you realized, but I lived!

I made it through it. The never ending portal of death you think never will get better. It does. It has. It will.

I still get therapy. I have counselors. I'm doing so much better.

Yet, I still have roadblocks. My aunt passed away a few days ago and it really hurt. I hardly could get out of bed. But, I'm getting better. It hits me hard every so often but it isn't constant anymore.

I struggle with it every day still. But it's just fleeting thoughts now. Hardly anything bad. A wave of emotion that passes in minutes. It doesn't stay for long.

I'm glad to say, I'm happy again.