Shattering Secrets [2]

Eleven

   No goodbyes were allowed, the guards told us it was a new rule set in stone. We were rushed to the train, shoved in, and had the doors lock behind us. Finnick and Alessandra were furious with me, not understanding my reasoning behind what I did, and why I did it. Neither of them seemed to care that Mags was going to die in the arena. "I would have protected her!" Finnick screamed at me.

   "Only one can come out alive, you know that!" I spat back at him.

   My room was cold, dark, and far too quiet. It's not safe to leave me alone with my own thoughts for too long, and there isn't anything that I could have done to keep myself busy, the room was practically bare. My mind raced through what had happen, and with that came conflicting emotions. Part of me hates myself for volunteering for Mags, part of me is selfish and wanted her to go instead. Another part of me is happy with what I did, reasoning with myself that it was the right decision. It was, wasn't it?

    A soft tap comes from my door, and Alessandra lets herself in. "How are you doing, dear?"

   "Fine" I shrug, she comes and sits down next to me, sighing.

   "I'm sorry for being so harsh with you earlier, my emotions can get the best of me sometimes"

   "It's okay, I understand. If the situation was flipped, I would be feeling the same thing"

   "I'm glad your not mad at me" she gave me a soft smile, pulling some strands of hair behind my ear. "Your mother would be so proud of you"

   "I know"

   "I got off the phone with Katniss and Effie just a few moments ago, and we were going over some things that I think you should hear"

   "Like what?"

   "Well Effie told me that she had this idea, which I think is brilliant, she's making gold bracelets, and gold pins for her , Haymitch and Katniss. She offered to make us some too"

   "That would be nice" i say. Haymitch, not very fond of him. I have extremely mixed feelings about him. I know that 59 of the victors are still alive, that half or even more of them are addicted to something or another, and he's part of that number. Alcohol.

   "Since we have our opening ceremonies tomorrow, your team and I will be finishing up our last minute arrangements with your outfit. I came in here to tell you that I think you should really talk with Katniss. She sounded so distraught on the phone, I think something is going on with her"

   "I'll call her in a little while, thank you Alessandra"

   She chews her lip while standing up, and takes a moment too long to open the door. Something is up. "Coral, darling?"

   "Yes?"

   "When its time to kill Finnick, do it quick" her back is still turned to me, and she quickly opens the door and shuffles out. Her words leave razor sharp thoughts in my mind. I hadn't come to thinking about that yet, I wasn't thinking of killing anyone. She was thinking ten thoughts ahead of me. If I had to kill Finnick to stay alive, I would have to kill Katniss too. I'm sure that this time in the Arena, there wouldn't be any special rules where two people could win. A cold shiver went down my spin when I thought of killing them both. If it came down to it, did I have it in me to actually do it?

   I sighed and walked over to the phone that was on my nightstand, and quickly dialed her train number.

   "Hello?" Haymitch answers.

   "Can I talk to Katniss?"

   "No please?" He slurs

   "Katniss. Now"

   "Hello?" Katniss's voice sounds like she's been crying. "Coral?"

   "Hey, how are you?"

   "Oh Coral, I'm so glad you called" her voice was dripping with relief. "This fucking sucks, doesn't it? Leaving our families again, leaving our districts, going back into the arena. I gained so much weight I don't think I'll be able to fit in anything they choose to fit me in" she laughs , and I smile. To everyone Katniss comes across as a very cold person, very strong and very determined. To me, she loosens up, and she can be herself, she doesn't have to be that strong person. "You know, these trains really have the best food, does your train have good food? You know these servers here have been so kind to me, what about on your train, have they given you any extra desserts or extra honey in your tea?"

   "You're rambling, what's going on?" I ask, concerned. "You always ramble when something's wrong"

   The line goes silent, and I hear a door being closed, probably her room door. "I can't go back there Coral, I can't do this all over again"

   "We have to, We'll fight"

   "No, you don't understand. I can't  go back there. I won't be able to do it, Coral"

   "What do you mean? If I'm going, so are you. We have to do this, Snow will kill us"

   "I have to tell you something, and you can't tell anyone" her breathing becomes heavy, and I can hear her voice begin to break.

   "What's wrong?"

   "I'm pregnant"