Shattering Secrets [2]

One

   After months upon months of staying in my home, it was time for me to move out of my comfort zone and return to the girl that the Capitol had seen. It was time for the Victors Tour. Because parading yourself in front of the Districts who lost and had lost so much is a good thing for your reputation. Because having to speak in front of the families of the children you killed will have people love you. Because riding through the Districts of poverty and grim are going to have people cherish their moments with me, while I'm tucked away in a home with luxurious items.

   These past months have been torture for not only Mags, Finnick, but myself. I wouldn't let them in, afraid that every time I heard a knock on the door it was another cannon going off. The doors were never unlocked. The only exception was Mags, who helped me eat and bathe. She would brush my hair and held me when I cried. Finnick would come knock on my door everyday, wanting to be let in, wanting to talk to me. Sometimes I would answer his pleads by talking to him through the door. He stopped visiting me after he found out that I was a lost cause.

   In the first few months , the citizens of District Four would pound at my door to try and get me to talk to them. Some slipped papers under the door, mainly writing about how sorry they were for my loss. How sorry they were to have little Liam ripped from my world. They stopped coming after the holiday. A holiday where the Capitol comes with great entertainers, and great foods for all. They stopped coming when they figured out that I wasn't worth anything to them anymore.

   I know now that I have given up on myself, on everyone that once cared or loved me. I once thought that something could happen between me and Finnick, but all hope was lost when even a creak of a door would scare me. He's given up on me, and I heard from Mags that he has gone back to his job in the Capitol. A job where he sells himself, his body, his looks. He sells himself to the beautiful women of the Capitol. I could never live up to the expectations of those women. I must look like a raggedy Anne doll, raggedy.

   I leave in about an hour , making sure to go pick Katniss up. She is the only good thing that comes from this situation. I will get to see my best friend again. I will get to see my sister.

  A knock comes from the door, and I jump out of my skin. I have to allow myself time to contain my heart before opening up the door. Unlocking the door , and having the cool sea breeze blow at my tangled hair wants me to close the door on my stylists and my mentors. I haven't gone outside in months, and somehow , the world outside scares me.

   "Well are you going to just stand there or are you going to let us in?" Allesandra Giselle smiles at me, and I nod , stepping aside to let them in. Mags hugs me, and Finnick doesn't meet my eyes, only smiling a little before entering. "Looks like you need some cleaners in here darling!"

   "I know, I've been busy" I say, trying to clean up some dishes that are on the coffee table in front of the television. "Please take a seat, and if you want anything to eat, please help yourself. I haven't had guests in a while"

   "Or at all" Finnick snaps from where he is standing, and I frown at his disgust.

   "I have Mags over sometimes Finnick" I snap back. "Maybe I didn't invite you in is because you've become your old self again, retreating back to the Capitol"

   He scoffs at me, and leans against a wall. "I see you haven't lost your temper Coral"

   "I see you haven't lost your charming ways" I smile at him , my words dripping with pure sarcasm.

{~}

   My stylists have been working hard at trying to make me fit into an oversized dress for the past thirty minutes. I've lost so much weight that I can't even fit into a tiny dress. I've been having needles poke me, and angry words thrown my way.

   "I give up! You're going in something comfortable, we just need to accessorize it to make it look fashionable" Cruz Caesar , my stylist is not happy with me, but at the same time I am happy that I will not be going in a dress. I don't want the Capitols people knowing that I have been in a state of depression sense I have gone home.

   My hair has been combed of all the snarls and tangles, and they put it up into a tight bun. My makeup is natural, only with a few blush tones , a nude lip, and mascara. I was just about calm with the situation in my home before a loud knock comes from my door. I jump and race over to my kitchen, pulling out a knife.

   "Woah!" Finnick yells at me, but then relaxes his tone when he sees the dread and the pure horror in my eyes. "It's okay, Caesar is checking who it is" he gently takes the knife from my hand, and slings one of his arms over my shoulder. It is not comforting, but stiff like a brick.

   "It's President Snow" Caesar says opening the door with a smile. I grab onto Finnick's hand, ignoring my thoughts to just stab him instead.

   "Hello Coral" his white hair is reflecting the lights, and it makes me uneasy. "It's nice to see you again, but I would have liked to meet under better terms"

   "What do you mean?" Finnick says stepping forward.

   "There has been a leak in our system, and there are now many uprisings in many Districts"

   "What do you mean 'there has been a leak in our system'" I say, angry that Snow is in my home, in my private space after having the audacity to kill my baby brother in front of the Citizens of District Four.

   "The video has leaked" he says, taking a seat.

   "Good" I say taking a seat opposite of him. "I hope people see you for who you truly are"

   "Coral!" Alessandra looks at me with pure horror, but I ignore it.

   "The problem is that it's not just one District, it's a few. When someone leaks a video in the Capitol to all the Districts it becomes havoc. We have had to send more peacekeepers to different Districts, but many are still rebelling against us"

   "What do I have to do with anything of this?" I ask him, leaning forward in my chair. "Isn't this your problem to deal with? Or do you have all your victors do your dirty work? What do you want me to say? That it was all my fault, that my brother was killed because I didn't want to marry your disgrace of a grandson?"

   "Actually, yes. Either that, or your District will become just like District Thirteen"

   "You really think the Districts will believe the story of me coming up and saying it was all my fault?"

   "No, that's why I'm going to have Katniss Everdeen do it"