You're My Only Direction

Chapter Ten

            Louis’ POV

            I wish Harry would’ve had more of a reaction to my and Eleanor’s break up… It’s like he couldn’t have cared less. He was just tired, if you brought it up again he would probably be more interested. Yeah, okay, whatever. That’s not even what you should be worrying about at a time like this!

Harry just tried to kill himself; he’s your best mate and it’s your job to watch out for him, you definitely failed… Ugh, where did it all go wrong? Why would he ever want to end his life?

            “Whatcha thinkin’ bout Lou?” Zayn asked as he chomped on some pancakes.

            “Oh nothing…” I mumbled, pushing my plate away from me.

            “Come on mate, that’s clearly not true. No one’s listening: Liam and Niall are off doing whatever it is they do and Harry’s out in the other room. What’s up mate?” Zayn said, looking at me intently.

            “Well, Eleanor and I broke up last night,” I sighed.

            “Oh I’m sorry mate,” Zayn replied gently, touching his hand to my shoulder.

            “Don’t be, honestly, I’m not that torn up about it,” I said, shaking my head.

            “If you’re ‘not that torn up about it’ then why did you say that’s what’s wrong?” Zayn asked suspiciously.

            “Because I don’t want to talk about the real issue,” I muttered, looking away from Zayn’s curious dark brown eyes.

            “It’ll never get better if you just keep it hidden,” Zayn whispered.

            Damn it, he always knows exactly what to say to get me to spill my guts…

            “Fine, I’m just really worried about Harry,” I sighed.

            “We all are mate, but he’s made such a great recovery,” Zayn replied with a small smile.

            “It’s not his physical health that I’m worried about; it’s his mental health that troubles me. I’m worried that he will try to do it again…and I don’t know how to prevent it…” I whispered, getting choked up.

            “Oh Lou,” Zayn said, wrapping me up in a tight hug. “He’ll be okay, there’s nothing we can do except believe in him and support him.”  

            “I know and that’s what scares me most, that I can’t actually do anything to make sure it won’t happen again,” I whispered as a tear slid down my cheek.

            “We’ll just have to keep an eye on him when he takes his medicine from now on. Maybe one of us should hold onto his medicine just to be safe…” Zayn mused.

            “There are other ways to kill yourself besides overdosing,” I replied grimly.

            “That’s true but I think our biggest worry is his medicine,” Zayn insisted. “If we keep track of how much he’s taking then we can keep him in control.”

            “Maybe…” I sighed as I looked out the doorway to see Harry lying in the other room just staring at the ceiling. I watched him for a few moments wishing that he had never tried to kill himself. Why, Harry, why? What happened to make you so unhappy?