You're My Only Direction

Chapter Twelve

Yay, another musical chapter…haha sorry I don’t know what else to call it. Play Awake by Secondhand Serenade at the Play Audio. Sorry this is such a short chapter…But I haven't gotten any comments on my story yet, so I would love you forever if you commented and voted! Love you guys! Oh and a video with the song is on the side!

Harry’s POV

After wandering the streets of Philadelphia for hours, searching for the hotel, I finally made it back. I slipped into the room and gently clicked the door shut behind me. I glanced at the clock; its neon glow read 3:42 am. I sighed and peered at Louis’ bed, it was empty.

Where the hell could he be at 3:42 in the morning? Whatever, it’s not my problem anyway.

I stripped out of my clothes and hopped into my bed, allowing the warm sheets to carry me away into sleep.

Louis’ POV

What the hell is going on with Harry? Is he going crazy…? What does he mean when he’s talking about this…other person…that is in his head? Was I wrong for telling him that he is just overtired? Is there something seriously wrong with him? IS there a voice in his head that urges him to kill himself?

If that’s true then I can’t leave him alone!

I was strolling around Philadelphia, hands in trousers and taking in the refreshing air. I need to get back to the hotel asap. But what if he’s not even there? What if he couldn’t find his way back to the hotel?!? The only way to find out is if you go back.

 So I turned on my heel and started back for the hotel. Will he even talk to me when I show up there? Is this one of those things where he gets mad and then gets over it really quickly or is this an anger that will last? Recently it seems like he’s been holding onto his anger a lot longer than he used to.

Is this all because of the cancer? Or is there more? I just don’t understand him anymore. Things aren’t as simple as they used to be… I wish we could just go back to before he was sick. But then again…before he was sick I was denying my feelings…I was still with Eleanor…

Gaaaah.  Everything has just become so god damned confusing and complicated.

I was so focused on my thoughts that I was surprised that I was already back at the hotel. I trudged through the lobby and passed Niall and Liam who were chatting and laughing in the lobby. Strange thing to be doing at, what time is it, 4:23 in the morning. But then again…who am I to judge? I’m just getting back at 4:23 in the morning.

I couldn’t help but watch them enviously; their relationship was just so simple and easy. There was no tension, no anger, no stress. I wanted to have that with Harry, but his cancer kind of prevents that…nothing can ever be simpler when you add cancer to the equation.

I continued to watch them for a moment then sighed and hopped in the elevator. With any luck Harry will just be asleep when I get there… Then he can just sleep off his anger. But I don’t want to go to bed feeling like this; we need to talk about this, about us, about our situation.

The elevator dinged, indicating that I had reached my floor. I stepped out and slouched to our door. Hesitantly, I inched the door open and slipped inside. Looking around, Harry’s snoring form caught my eye. I wish he always looked like he does when he’s sleeping, so peaceful and carefree. With his eyes closed and mind resting, all the traces of his anxiety and sadness are gone; he looks like My Hazza again. 

I sat on the edge of his bed and ran my hands through his curls. Sighing, I planted a kiss on his temple. Why does this have to be so complicated? It really shouldn’t have to be this complicated; we both love each other, end of story. No, not end of story, our happy ending is blurred by the threat of cancer and all that it brings.