***Amber in M/M****
AMBER P.O.V.
“Mmmmm.” My moans echoed across my room. “Auuuugust.” I bit down on my bottom lip as I felt myself tightening below. As my body shook from reaching its climax, the images of August in my mind slowly began to fade.
I removed my vibrator from inside me, and laid there for a second starring at the ceiling trying to catch my breath.
Yes, I imagined after our little spat, we had make-up sex. I told myself that I had to get him completely out of my system and this seemed like a legitimate way to do it. I told myself once I had climaxed, I couldn’t say his name anymore or even day-dream about him. I promised myself I would live up to my end of the bargain.
I looked at the clock which read 6 a.m. It was time for me to get ready for work, and I didn’t feel like going, but I dragged myself out of bed anyway.
As I headed to the washroom to take a shower, I caught a glimpse of my eyes in the mirror on my wall. They were red and puffy.
After our little run-in yesterday, I waited all night for a call, text, even a visit of some sort and it never came. I wanted him in my life so bad, and I had completely ruined it. Feeling depressed about this, I got drunk on wine. And cried all night, while I had Beyonce’s Why Don’t You Love Me on repeat.
I swear it was a pitiful site. Me singing along to my pillow, imagining it was August.
August why don't you love me?
Tell me, baby, why don't you love me
When I make me so damn easy to love?
August why don't you need me?
Tell me, baby, why don't you need me
When I make me so damn easy to need?
I got beauty, I got heart
Keep my head in them books, I'm sharp
But you don't care to know I'm smart
Now, now now now now now now
I got moves in your bedroom
Keep you happy with the nasty things I do
But you don't seem to be in tune
“August why don’t you fucking love me, huh?” I threw my pillow on the ground. I’m so ashamed of my behavior last night. No one should ever get you to that point.
But that was yesterday. Today is a new day. If he didn’t want me, fine. I wasn’t going to allow that to get me down. I accepted it, and was going to move on. I’m not begging a man to be in my life, I’m worth more than that.
After I took my shower and did the usual hygiene, I got dressed for work. I decided I wanted to dress up just to feel a little bit more empowered, even though on Friday’s at my office all the Attorneys wore jeans. I sat down and had me a cup of coffee while I looked through my files, then headed for the door.
As I opened the door, I saw August sitting on the hood of his car eating some yogurt. Although inwardly I was excited, I wasn’t going to show him that. I’m not about to play these emotional games with him. I poured my entire heart out to him yesterday, and he couldn’t even call, text or come see me.
“You need to move. You’re blocking me in.” I didn’t even look his way and opened the door to my car.
He didn’t move.